Not Now. Not Never

3:11 AM / 4 October

2009-10-04T03:11:00.001+08:00

I live for my family.
I live for my friends.
Nothing else matters.

Today simply enforced my beliefs further.

9:17 PM / 31 August

2009-08-31T21:17:00.002+08:00

Hmmm. I was looking through some of my old files. And I found the websites that I did for my attachment. I'm quite surprised at what I managed to do in my 3 months there. And it seems quite weird that there's something out there with my hard work written all over it.

Anyway, here is the list of websites that I did or helped out on:
D'Feringghi Budget Resort
CityHub Hotel
Bali Sentosa
Corus KL
Royal Plaza on Scotts

These are the main few that I spent most of my time on. There were a lot of others that I helped out with though a lot of them I can barely remember. The ones that I did from scratch is mainly D'Feringghi and CityHub, though CityHub sorta caused a bit of problems. They were very picky with the design. But oh well. I finished my job anyway. A few others I did from scratch are still not up yet. I guess the devil's in the details. Hehe.

11:30 PM / 11 August

2009-08-11T23:26:00.002+08:00

I Am Only by Fariq Said

Why does it have to be this way.
Or did I make things hard for myself again
Am I an idealist.
Or am I an idiot

Am I the only one who thinks this way
Or did I just lose myself in my thoughts
Losing myself
In an instance

Do I fight for a future
That I am still uncertain of
When nothing seems real
When nothing feels real

We fight we try to live
To keep moving forward
I try to breathe
But life just keeps cutting me off

Am I a hypocrite
For wanting so much
And wanting to do it all on my own
Am I a coward

Where did I let my conscience go
Or maybe I sold my soul
To my dreams
To my useless aspirations

I live my life for myself
And those that I choose to keep around me
So please God help me remember
Should I choose to forget
That very principle
That keeps me alive

I am only still human
But I am still me

I got my PMA back. No living in the dark days for me. 2 days in it and I'm already out. And I finally get inspiration to write. I'm gonna turn those words up there into a freaking rocking all out hardcore song. I already got it in my head. It's gonna be intense. Like Comeback Kid intense.

P.S. I got a new life goal. That's to go make an Irish friend. Irish people are just so freaking cool. So is Celtic culture.

8:46 PM / 10 August

2009-08-10T20:46:00.002+08:00

You know, I don't really know who reads this thing anymore. But since I wanna share without really letting too many people know, I'll just put this here.

You see, I've always been so sure of things. So sure of my abilities, my interests, myself most importantly. But recently I've just been feeling a bit jaded. All those sureties I had seem non-existent. Suddenly the fact that I did well for Poly means nothing to me. It's kinda hard to explain. Maybe I'm lost. Or maybe I lost myself somewhere.

Maybe it's this super long holiday that I have. A holiday I needed so bad but something that should have ended end of May. I was so sure I'd be in NS right now. But then stuff happens. And I just got stumped. As time wore on I kept wondering. What do I want to do with my life? I like the business world and I don't mind a shot at the IT industry. But I just keep on wondering about my life should I choose anyone of them. I've been through so much shit the last few years. So much negativity I threw out. A new outlook on life. And now I find myself getting pulled back in to that same negativity I had a year ago. And I'm afraid it might happen again in the future.

I'm actually seriously considering running away to some beat-up gym in the US and training to be a prize-fighter. Make it on my own. Alone.

But then I'll be letting so many people down. My family. My friends. And I can't let that happen. My happiness is bound to how my friends and family feel. It's what I care about the most. Leaving them is not something I want to do unless they are all really happy with it.

Had lunch today with Lisda, Nadh and Aqilah. Somehow it got into a serious conversation about what I'm gonna do in the future. And suddenly more questions popped up in my head. And Nadh really called my bluff about what exactly would make me happy. And it made me think.

Do I fight for what I have now? For my friends, my family. Or do I fight for a future which I myself am still uncertain of?

I seriously need to get this out of my system fast. I've had totally no negativity for a whole year. And to get so much rushing back into my head again, it's seriously messing with my head.

So after I got back today, I tried to sort this problem off a little bit and I've at least come to this little conclusion.

Whatever it is, I've decided to go to SMU. It's close enough for me and I got a direct bus. I hate to travel long distances especially if I'm doing it everyday. It's a good enough risk I believe. And I never liked top ranked. Especially in Singapore. Same reason I went to Poly instead of JC. Underdogs rule.

One more thing I've decided is that no matter what, I'll try to join an MMA gym. I'll take the shittiest one available. I've still gotta live my dream a bit don't I? And it's a good way to keep fit too.

Last thing, I'm still gonna go on holiday after I get done with NS.

Now, for the other 200 questions still rolling around in my head about my future...

10:13 PM / 26 July

2009-07-26T22:13:00.002+08:00

Who says weddings need to be serious affairs?

I mean seriously? Haha

10:23 PM / 16 July

2009-07-16T22:40:00.001+08:00

Saw this Nat Geo documentary on YouTube about Straight Edge. For those who don't know, Straight Edge is a lifestyle that grew out of the hardcore and punk scene. It advocates a poison-free lifestyle. No smokes, no alcohol, no drugs. It started out as sort of a positive lifestyle for the scenesters back then and still is today. But as with any movement, there will always be the people who think they are homo superior and get violent. This documentary explores all those aspects of Straight Edge.

And by the way, I'm not militant in anyway. I don't beat up any of my friends who smoke or drink. I respect their decisions enough to know that I don't need to mess in their business. But don't let me catch you drunk out of your mind. Cause I know alcohol numbs the nerves enough to take several blows and I'm a bit of a science guy so I might use your face as an experiment.

5:43 PM / 25 June

2009-06-25T17:43:00.001+08:00

Empty is the sky before the sun wakes up
Empty are the eyes of animal in cages
Empty, the faces of women in mourning
When everything's been taken from them

Me?
Don't ask me about empty.

1:49 AM / 21 June

2009-06-21T02:05:00.000+08:00

Today was one of those days. That day being the 20th of June on a Saturday. You know. Everyone has one of those days. Those days where you realize that God is messing with you. Not in a bad way though.

You see, I have this belief that even if God is all powerful and all knowing, He still has a funny side in Him. Anytime something weird happens to me that I can't understand I always look up and wonder if God's playing a joke. I mean, what are the odds that He has a funny side? And I guess today He reminded me that He still has it.

You see, I've been in a bit of a financial pickle lately. Had to pay a bill on the 20th or else my line would get cut. I was trying to come up with the money that day. I was 20 bucks short. Not that I was taking it seriously. But then stuff happened that made me look up and wonder if God was messing with me again.

Firstly, I was at Adidas Suntec with Kelvin. He was paying for stuff. While waiting for the cashier I was chatting with him. I suddenly realized that in between us on the counter was a dope looking Samsung phone. I was like damn. For fear of getting charged Kelvin decided to ignore it. So I ended up getting all noble and stuff and passed it to the sales guy.

Next, I was walking outside Raffles Shopping Centre with Kel. Saw a few kids helping out with Flag Day. I didn't realize it was for the Special Olympics. I would have donated if I had known. So anyways, the kids were asking these 2 white guys to donate. They did and as one of the guys was putting stuff into his pocket, a crumpled 10 dollar note dropped out. I didn't realize what it was until I got closer. Again I realized the situation and did the noble thing by bumping a few people out of the way and retrieving the 10 dollar note to pass to the guy. I hope it really was that guy's 10 bucks. I'll be damned if I was wrong. But I just did what my eyes interpreted.

This post was not too make myself look good or anything. Nor is it a lie. Ask Kelvin and he'll vouch for me. What I realized on this day was that I almost forgot about the weird relationship I had with a certain Guy sitting in the clouds. So I looked to the sky and said, 'Dammit, you got me again. That was a nice one God.'

----------------
Now playing: Mastodon - Oblivion
via FoxyTunes

9:39 PM / 28 May

2009-05-28T22:14:00.000+08:00

Hmmm.....

So yeah. I graduated. With Merit. Diploma in Business Informatics. What now? Have I made it yet? Am I a made man?

Seems a little early for that question to be asked aye? But I think it's a good question to ask oneself. Every single milestone, be it me graduating, me completing NS or maybe even the birth of my child. I will ask myself that very question. And I know, every single time, I will tell myself no. Or maybe until I can make sure I can take care of my family and friends. 'Cause truthfully, that's all I ever care about. Make my mom and dad proud of me. To be respected among my friends. And keep myself happy. That's all.

Maybe I shoulda taken more pictures. Maybe. But it's not like I care. Best memories are the ones in my head.

Only downside was maybe the fact that my brother was not around. But he's doing more important things like getting his degree in Tasmania. Come back quick! We're gonna take graduation photos of us in bodybuilding poses! Haha.

5:12 PM / 10 May

2009-05-10T17:13:00.003+08:00

I learnt an important thing yesterday night. I was having supper with my dad and we spent the time talking about his bachelor years. From his first attempts at finding a job to his life in the army. The dilemma he had when he had to choose between Malaysia and Singapore during the separation.

On the way back, he told me something that made a lot of sense. His dad, my late grandfather, always told him "Kalau tak ada duit, nak pergi dari sini ke Geylang pun jauh. Tapi kalau ada duit, nak pergi dari sini ke Penang pun dekat." Translated it means, "When we have no money, to travel just to Geylang would be far. With money however, even Penang is near."

Not to be money-minded or anything, but this actually makes a lot of sense. As much as I try not to be a paper chaser and money maker, we will continuously need money. It's just the nature of it. Okay, now someone gimme a job.

1:58 AM / 3 May

2009-05-03T01:58:00.002+08:00

New H2O vid for their song 'Nothing To Prove' off of their album of the same name.

Me and all my friends we got nothing to prove, nothing to lose!
You know us and what we achieved
From the streets of L.E.S to your TV!
Many have come, and many will go, but 20 years later
Who's still runnin' the show
Hard times have come our way, we held it down and kept the PMA!
With only one voice we have more to say - still mentally vexed
TCOB!!

Feels good to listen to some NYC hardcore. I really hope to reach a point in my life when I literally have nothing to prove to other people. Just to those around me. And to just be happy. That's what I've been doin lately. See the 3 letters 'PMA' up there? Means 'Positive Mental Attitude'. Can't be straightedge and not keep the PMA now can I?

I'm straightedge. PMA for life.

1:35 AM / 30 April

2009-04-30T02:26:00.000+08:00

I don't know what it is. But, I'm just not sold on the story of Susan Boyle. No offence to her, but why is she suddenly an example of talent over looks? Maybe it's cause I've been watching Britain's Got Talent since 2 seasons ago. I mean, doesn't anyone know about Paul Potts?

This guy won 2 seasons ago.

Or how 'bout this kid from last season? Andrew Johnston.

This guy got into the finals. Top 3 if I remember correctly.

It's not that I'm hating on Susan Boyle. She IS a good singer. Maybe it's cause I've been watching a lot of BGT, but I'm not really that astonished at her talent. I've seen the last 2 seasons and the British are mighty talented. One season's worth of talent could wipe off all the seasons' worth of talent found on America's Got Talent.

The act that I want to win is this little act called 'Stavros Flatley'. It's a parody on dancer Micheal Flatley. I can't get the embeddable video but here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Tu0PAbW75A It's the funniest thing I've seen on the show and damn he got those Flatley mannerisms down right.

12:19 AM / 26 April

2009-04-26T00:19:00.002+08:00

So yeah. I got into SCDF. Enlisting on the 6th of October. Alhamdullilah. It's after Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Means I don't need to fast during BRT.

I'm very happy I got into the Home Team. If I ever had the choice, I never want to join the army. It's just not me. I'm not a preacher of war. And even more so in Singapore, I'd rather be in the Police or the Civil Defence. 'Cause to be honest, no offence to the Singapore Armed Forces, we either go to war and get run over, or we don't go to war at all. I don't want to say anything else.

But the most improtant thing to me, is being active. I want to use the skills I learned to actually help lives. Not sit around and just be on standby til I ROD.

I wanna be a paramedic if that's possible. I could actually save lives. Like daily. Like a superhero. But then again. I won't be the only one.

All in all, I'm just thankful. I have been given this opprotunity. After consigning myself to 6 months in the SAF, I am genuinely happy that I'm going to the SCDF.

Paramedic. This vid below kinda makes me wanna be one.

I'm not sure what's worse
The waiting or the waiting room
"You're next sir" becomes a cruel taunt to you
recycled air, the smell of sleep and disinfectant
Your God is a two door elevator

Do they even cure you
(cut me open drug me)
Or is it just to humor us before we die
(repair all my defects)
If only we could heal ourselves
We wouldn't.. need to be hooked up to these machines

Whoa whoa whoa...

Let's redefine (6x)
What it means to heal

Do they even cure you
(cut me open drug me)
Or is it just to humor us before we die
(repair all my defects)
If Only we could heal ourselves
We wouldn't.. need to be hooked up to these machines

Whoa whoa whoa...

7:38 PM / 23 April

2009-04-23T19:49:00.000+08:00

Instructional video for Protest The Hero's Bloodmeat. This has been out pretty much since around the release of the album.

I realized after watching this vid was that the song is actually quite easy to play after it's all broken down. Not that I can play the whole song anyway. I managed to learn the full rhythm sections. I can go through the whole song looking like I can actually play it. All the tapping stuff I can play, only slowly though. Though I haven't managed to play it with like a proper setup yet.

The tabs can be found here: http://dl.guitarworld.com/pdf/GW0708%20bloodmeat.pdf

1:01 AM / 18 April

2009-04-18T01:17:00.000+08:00

It's 1am. I'm feeling a little political.

There is a high chance that President Obama may fail in the White House. For as much as he can say he wants to change things, he will not get things done unless the people of America change themselves.

Not that I am against President Obama. But as I said before, with such a big problem looming over the head of such an untested politician, if he doesn't manage to pull things off, the failure will be perceived to be twice as large as the problem was in the first.

Those two paragraphs above struck me when I remebered how much media interest there is in his presidency. Not since JFK has there been this much media scrutiny in the life of a president. From the First Lady's fashion to their dog, there's a lot of eyes on them.

And so fitting that it was JFK who said, "Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country". But do the people remember?

Less than a week in office and people were already dismayed at his progress. Because he promised change. But because he made change such a big issue that people perceive the change to be big. That's why I believe the people will perceive the failure to be bigger than the issue. They won't see the things that he has set in motion to be the change that they need in the future.

All I got to say is good luck President Obama. You'll need it.

P.S. I know this is a bit late, but I forgot about it. Was supposed to have posted this after inauguration but it got locked in the back of my head with skool and what not.

1:02 PM / 9 April

2009-04-09T13:01:00.002+08:00

If there was ever a need for me to define this year in song, I'd totally have to say it would be Superhero by Bane. It's just a song that makes so much sense.

Superhero by Bane

She rolls her eyes
And lights another
"One day i'll quit these things,
They're killing me."
She blows her brains
Right out her fucking mouth
I just don't know how you do it

Well, there is nothing in me
That you don't have
Deep within your fucking self
Well, there is nothing in me
That you do not have
Deep within your fucking self

Yes, the body is weak
But the mind is stronger
It controls the body
You are not a slave.

And i am not a superhero!

You see, the difference between hard and impossible
Well, it's a thousand miles wide
But that's not what you want to hear.
Don't live a lifetime of regret.
Is there a moment of uncomfort
Never knowing, no, no, never knowing

How great it feels to be free

This year I've been tuning in to a lot of NYC Hardcore. Bane are one of the few new bands keeping the scene alive and fresh. All their members are straightedge. But I guess their musical agenda doesn't solely focus on sXe values. Though this song has elements of that. But it does in itself make a lot of sense both sXe or otherwise.

The message in this song has a line that I think everyone should live by. "Yes, the body is weak, but the mind is strong. And it controls the body you are not a slave". Knowing all the crap I'm gonna go through soon, those words make a lot of sense to me.

Why can't moshes in Singapore be like this? No kicking and flailing. Just all out togetherness and chaos. Screaming the words that you chose to live by.

I'm straightedge. And I'm in it for life. xXx

3:42 AM / 10 March

2009-03-10T03:41:00.002+08:00

Been playing A LOT of World of Warcraft lately. Or WoW as I like to call it.

Here's an interesting fact: Taurens don't become Rogues because they find the methods of the Rogues dishonorable. Plus, it's hard to be stealthy when you have hooves. ROFL

Okay, for those who don't know, Taurens are a race of creatures in WoW with the features of a cow or a bull. Essentially they are cattle on 2 feet or 2 gigantic hooves for that matter. Rogues are a class of heroes in WoW which are sorta like an assassin. Thus the joke. Haha

P.S. Levelling up would be a bitch if I were playing the normal Blizzard WoW server...

8:00 AM / 5 March

2009-03-05T08:00:00.003+08:00

I've realized something these past few days.

I'm not afraid of dying.

What I am afraid of though, is that there is nothing at the end.

Think about it, we count 'til the millions but we barely live past 100. But then, think about it again. We've come so far, yet (for me at least) it's only been 19 years. Still got a long way to go. But how we wish we had more.

11:58 PM / 27 February

2009-02-27T23:58:00.003+08:00

I read something in today's edition of the New Paper that really peeved me. They did this article about this Singaporean who wrote a few novels and published them by himself. He is self-proclaimed to be one of Singapore's more popular writers. The article highlighted a few language 'bloopers' as they call it in his novel.

Wait. What? Language bloopers. Isn't there supposed to be an editor for that kind of shit? Not even spellcheck? Not even a darn animated paper-clip? Well I guess he turned it off. For those who didn't read this article here's a sampler.

"By then, O-Levels was cornering."

Well, I'd hate to be passenger in that car.

"She might not have the prettiest face in the world, but her figure tumbled over everything.'

She may not be pretty, but damn, ain't she the clumsy one.

"Her breathings were so deep that her chest was shuddering up and down with every breath."

OMG. I do not know what to say....

You know what the best part was? This guy got C5 for O-level English. I guessed his O-level paper cornered right into him I guess. *Shakes head*.

Okay, maybe the O-levels may not necessarily be the exact barometer with which we should judge one's laguage capabilities. But it certainly does not help your credentials when you almost failed what I believe should be a no-brainer paper.

What really peeved me though was how non-chalant his attitude towards a writer's need to have a good command of the language to tell a story.

In his words: "Language is not so important, I'm trying to tell a story."

C'mon. Really?! Well, if your intended stories revolved around love stories and tragedy which have exam papers who drive then all the more to ya'. But it's not.

You know what placed the final nail in his coffin? He said "Frankly, I don't feel responsible if they pick up such language."

God. If I see this guy, I will slap him so hard that his face would fall off. Argh. I hate it when people have such a non-chalant attitude towards stuff. And I think people who know me will know how much of a "Speak Proper English Advocate" I am. So that made me doubly pissed.

Let me put it in perspective. You are a writer, or a novelist for lack of a better term. You intend to tell a story. You use words and your skills as a word-smith to make that story come to fruition. Similar to how a carpenter with the intention to build a table would use his tools and his skill as a craftsman to build this table. You don't expect this carpenter to create a table which has incomplete carvings and a table leg two inches shorter than the others. If he does do so, he should take responsibility for his mistakes because his lack of skill has become a bad investment for someone.

I know this guy has hired a proper publishing company to get his language together, but his attitude and irresponsibility really pissed me off. Is this what Singaporeans are becoming? Non-chalant, irresponsible and out to make a quick buck? Argh. At times I wish there was no such thing as nationalities. I hate that people would think that just because I'm Singaporean I'd have certain characteristics not applicable to me.

Anyway, I'm not gonna name this guy. I'd hate to get charged with slander. This guy managed to make some good cash selling his darn books so I guess if he wanted to make another quick buck he'd sue me for my wallet. Go read the 27th February edition of the New Paper if you wanna find out more.

1:30 AM / 21 February

2009-02-21T02:06:00.001+08:00

If there's one thing I hate is doing something that didn't really need to be done in the first place. Like, cutting my hair. And it was just starting to grow right. Though it did smell like barbecue a good coupla months after the said barbecue happened.

I don't know what it is. I listen to these 2 bands. I like their music like crazy. They both have female instrumentalists and vocalists. I gush over how good the girls look. I like the music too. The music is different. But...Something dumb happens and the girl gets kicked out of the band. And to remain faithful, their bassist boyfriends leave the band too. Then the whole band just loses their uniqueness 'cause they are missing not only the female vocals, but also an instrumentalist that made the band different.

Case in point. I Am Ghost. Kerith was their backup vocalist and violinist. Violin. You know how many rock bands have a violin and make it sound good. And I'm not talking about stuff like Flogging Molly or any other Celtic Punk band. They play more like a fiddle-ish thing. I'm talking about using classical-based violin licks. It sounded like a symphony instead of a rock album. It was different. Then some mix-up between the beliefs of separate band members led to Kerith and the bassist, Brian, leaving the band. Now they just sound like another band from the scene. Still good, but not as noteworthy.

Next is 1997. An indie-ish sounding band. Played keyboards and xylophone depending on what was needed. She also featured prominently in terms of vocals. This was the first band that I actually liked that did not play music that was fast, heavy or overly oratorical. Just easy listening. Then, I guess some lack of understanding or what resulted in the band asking Alida to leave. Haven't heard any new material from the band since though something is slated for release. But she was such a good-looker and she had a great voice. Why'd she have to go.... *sulks*

I guess you can't have too much of a good thing.

1.00 PM / 15 February

2009-02-15T13:29:00.000+08:00

So here I am. Pondering about my future again. For those who don't know, I just graduated on Friday. Last day at the office you could say. Then I had to rush all the way down to the airport 'cause my brother was gonna fly off to Tasmania to study. He's gunning for a Degree in Contemporary Arts. It's only for a year but still I can't help but feel sad when he passed through the gates. I guess it's sort of a culmination of him getting his life on track. What really made me sad when he left was that he wouldn't be at my graduation. But to be frank, I actually haven't seen him graduate myself. He has 3 separate diplomas and the only one that I can remember was when he graduated from SP and had to get onto the stage with his crutches 'cause he was recovering from knee surgery. The other 2 times he simply ditched the ceremonies and had the institutions mail his diplomas to him. Hell of a guy I tell you.

I had a major reality check on my last day at work. I was looking though the average grades for those accepted into uni and got really worried when I saw the one for NTU's Bachelor in Business. It's around 3.6 and my GPA is still hovering around 3.5. I hope I did well for this last semester. Oh God please help me.

Oh yeah, did I mention that my attachment place asked me to stay on but I rejected their offer?

8:22 PM / 8 February

2009-02-08T20:30:00.000+08:00

For Everything's A Reason Within Itself (FEAR Within Itself)

Maybe it's fear

That made me who I am today

Maybe it's fear

That made me this way

Maybe it's fear

That always holds me back

Maybe it's fear

That makes me hold back

Maybe it's fear

That made me want to take my life

Maybe it's fear

That kept me alive

Maybe it's fear

That will make me who I am

Maybe it's fear

That's why I don't give a damn

For fear will always take us

One way or another

Because every choice

Will always be its own blunder

I don't know why, but sometimes I find my darkest thoughts in the happiest of times. Maybe I'm a pessimist?

Anyway. What I really wanted to convey with the written words above is that fear is an ever-present thing. And when these fears lead to choices, anything we choose will be its own mistake. Which is why everything we do comes with its own set of regrets. Give it a thought.

4:48 PM / 25 January

2009-01-25T16:49:00.002+08:00

The Rime of the Ancyent Marinere

It is an ancyent Marinere,

And he stoppeth one of three:

"By thy long grey beard and thy glittering eye

"Now wherefore stoppest me?

The bridegroom's doors are open'd wide

"And I am next of kin;

"The Guests are met, the Feast is set,--

"May'st hear the merry din.

But still he holds the wedding-guest--

There was a Ship, quoth he--

"Nay, if thou'st got a laughsome tale,

"Marinere! come with me."

He holds him with his skinny hand,

Quoth he, there was a Ship--

"Now get thee hence, thou grey-beard Loon!

"Or my Staff shall make thee skip.

He holds him with his glittering eye--

The wedding guest stood still

And listens like a three year's child;

The Marinere hath his will.

The wedding-guest sate on a stone,

He cannot chuse but hear:

And thus spake on that ancyent man,

The bright-eyed Marinere.

The Ship was cheer'd, the Harbour clear'd--

Merrily did we drop

Below the Kirk, below the Hill,

Below the Light-house top.

The Sun came up upon the left,

Out of the Sea came he:

And he shone bright, and on the right

Went down into the Sea.

Higher and Higher every day,

Till over the mast at noon--

The wedding-guest here beat his breast,

For he heard the loud bassoon.

The Bride hath pac'd into the Hall,

Red as a rose is she;

Nodding their heads before her goes

The merry Minstralsy.

The wedding-guest he beat his breast

Yet he cannot chuse but hear:

And thus spake on that ancyent Man,

The bright-eyed Marinere.

Listen, Stranger! Storm and Wind,

A Wind and Tempest strong!

For days and weeks it play'd us freaks--

Like Chaff we drove along.

Listen, Stranger! Mist and Snow,

And it grew wond'rous cauld:

And Ice mast-high came floating by

As green as Emerauld.

And thro' the drifts the snowy clifts

Did send a dismal sheen;

Ne shapes of men ne beasts we ken--

The Ice was all between.

The Ice was here, the Ice was there,

The Ice was all around:

It crack'd and growl'd, and roar'd and howl'd--

Like noises of a swound.

At length did cross an Albatross,

Thorough the Fog it came;

And an it were a Christian Soul,

We hail'd it in God's name.

The Marineres gave it biscuit-worms,

And round and round it flew:

The Ice did split with a thunder-fit;

The Helmsman steer'd us thro'.

And a good south wind sprung up behind,

The Albatross did follow;

And every day for food or play

Came to the Marinere's hollo!

In mist or cloud on mast or shroud

It perch'd for vespers nine,

Whiles all the night thro' [fog-smoke white]

Glimmer'd the white moon-shine.

"God save thee, ancyent Marinere!

"From the fiends that plague thee thus--

"Why look'st thou so?"--with my cross bow

I shot the Albatross.

II.

The Sun came up upon the right,

Out of the Sea came he;

And broad as a weft upon the left

Went down into the Sea.

And the good south wind still blew behind,

But no sweet Bird did follow

Ne any day for food or play

Came to the Marinere's hollo!

And I had done an hellish thing

And it would work 'em woe;

For all averr'd, I had kill'd the Bird

That made the Breeze to blow.

Ne dim ne red, like God's own head,

The glorious Sun uprist:

Then all averr'd, I had kill'd the Bird

That brought the fog and mist.

T'was right, said they, such birds to slay

That bring the fog and mist.

The breezes blew, the white foam flew,

The furrow follow'd free:

We were the first that ever burst

Into that silent Sea.

Down dropt the breeze, the Sails dropt down,

'Twas sad as sad could be

And we did speak only to break

The silence of the Sea.

All in a hot and copper sky

The bloody sun at noon,

Right up above the mast did stand,

No bigger than the moon.

Day after day, day after day,

We stuck, ne breath ne motion,

As idle as a painted Ship

Upon a painted Ocean.

Water, water every where

And all the boards did shrink;

Water, water every where,

Ne any drop to drink.

The very deeps did rot: O Christ!

That ever this should be!

Yea, slimy things did crawl with legs

Upon the slimy Sea.

About, about, in reel and rout

The Death-fires danc'd at night;

The water, like a witch's oils,

Burnt green and blue and white.

And some in dreams assured were

Of the Spirit that plagued us so:

Nine fathom deep he had follow'd us

From the Land of Mist and Snow.

And every tongue thro' utter drouth

Was wither'd at the root;

We could not speak no more than if

We had been choked with soot.

Ah wel-a-day! what evil looks

Had I from old and young;

Instead of the Cross the Albatross

About my neck was hung.

III.

I saw a something in the Sky

No bigger than my fist;

At first it seem'd a little speck

And then it seem'd a mist:

It mov'd and mov'd, and took at last

A certain shape, I wist.

A speck, a mist, a shape, I wist!

And still it ner'd and ner'd;

And, an it dodged a water-sprite,

It plung'd and tack'd and veer'd.

With throat unslack'd, with black lips bak'd

Ne could we laugh, ne wail:

Then while thro' drouth all dumb they stood

I bit my arm and suck'd the blood

And cry'd, A sail! A sail!

With throat unslack'd, with black lips bak'd

Agape they hear'd me call:

Gramercy! they for joy did grin

And all at once their breath drew in

As they were drinking all.

She doth not tack from side to side--

Hither to work us weal

Withouten wind, withouten tide

She steddies with upright keel.

The western wave was all a flame,

The day was well nigh done!

Almost upon the western wave

Rested the broad bright Sun;

When that strange shape drove suddenly

Betwixt us and the Sun.

And strait the Sun was fleck'd with bars

(Heaven's mother send us grace)

As if thro' a dungeon grate he peer'd

With broad and burning face.

Alas! (thought I, and my heart beat loud)

How fast she neres and neres!

Are those her sails that glance in the Sun

Like restless gossameres?

Are th[e]se her naked ribs, which fleck'd

The sun that did behind them peer?

And are th[e]se two all, all the crew,

That woman and her fleshless Pheere?

His bones were black with many a crack,

All black and bare, I ween;

Jet-black and bare, save where with rust

Of mouldy damps and charnel crust

They're patch'd with purple and green.

Her lips are red, her looks are free,

Her locks are yellow as gold:

Her skin is white as leprosy,

And she is far liker Death than he;

Her flesh makes the still air cold.

The naked Hulk alongside came

And the Twain were playing dice;

"The Game is done! I've won, I've won!"

Quoth she, and whistled thrice.

A gust of wind sterte up behind

And whistled thro' his bones;

Thro' the holes of his eyes and the hole of his mouth

Half-whistles and half-groans.

With never a whisper in the Sea

Oft darts the Spectre-ship;

While clombe above the Eastern bar

The Horned Moon, with one bright Star

Almost atween the tips.

One after one by the horned Moon

(Listen!, O Stranger! to me)

Each turn'd his face with a ghastly pang

And curs'd me with his ee.

Four times fifty living men,

With never a sigh or groan.

With heavy thump, a lifeless lump

They dropp'd down one by one.

Their souls did from their bodies fly,--

They fled to bliss or woe;

And every soul it pass'd me by,

Like the whiz of my Cross-bow.

IV.

I fear thee, ancyent Marinere!

"I fear thy skinny hand;

"And thou art long and lank and brown

"As is the ribb'd Sea-sand.

"I fear thee and thy glittering eye

"And thy skinny hand so brown--

Fear not, fear not, thou wedding guest!

This body dropt not down.

Alone, alone, all all alone

Alone on the wide wide Sea;

And Christ would take no pity on

My soul in agony.

The many men so beautiful

And they all dead did lie!

And a million million slimy things

Liv'd on--and so did I.

I look'd upon the rotting Sea,

And drew my eyes away;

I look'd upon the eldritch deck

And there the dead men lay.

I look'd to Heaven, and try'd to pray;

But or ever a prayer had gusht,

A wicked whisper came and made

My heart as dry as dust.

I clos'd my lids and kept them close,

Till the balls like pulses beat;

For the sky and the sea, and the sea and the sky

Lay like a load on my weary eye,

And the dead were at my feet.

The cold sweat melted from their limbs,

Ne rot, ne reek did they;

The look with which they look'd on me,

Had never pass'd away.

An orphan's curse would drag to Hell

A spirit from on high:

But O! more horrible than that

Is the curse in a dead man's eye!

Seven days, seven nights I saw that curse,

And yet I could not die.

The moving Moon went up the sky

And no where did abide:

Softly she was going up

And a star or two beside--

Her beams bemock'd the sultry main

Like morning frosts yspread;

But where the ship's huge shadow lay,

The charmed water burnt alway

A still and awful red.

Beyond the shadow of the ship

I watch'd the water-snakes:

They mov'd in tracks of shining white;

And when they rear'd, the elfish light

Fell off in hoary flakes.

Within the shadow of the ship

I watch'd their rich attire:

Blue, glossy green, and velvet black

They coil'd and swam; and every track

Was a flash of golden fire.

O happy living things! no tongue

Their beauty might declare:

A spring of love gusht from my heart,

And I bless'd them unaware!

Sure my kind saint took pity on me,

And I bless'd them unaware.

The self-same moment I could pray;

And from my neck so free

The Albatross fell off, and sank

Like lead into the sea.

O sleep, it is a gentle thing

Belov'd from pole to pole!

To Mary-queen the praise be yeven

She sent the gentle sleep from heaven

That slid into my soul.

The silly buckets on the deck

That had so long remain'd,

I dreamt that they were fill'd with dew

And when I awoke it rain'd.

My lips were wet, my throat was cold,

My garments all were dank;

Sure I had drunken in my dreams

And still my body drank.

I mov'd and could not feel my limbs,

I was so light, almost

I thought that I had died in sleep,

And was a blessed Ghost.

The roaring wind! it roar'd far off,

It did not come anear;

But with its sound it shook the sails

That were so thin and sere.

The upper air bursts into life,

And a hundred fire-flags sheen

To and fro are hurried about;

And to and fro, and in and out

The stars dance on between.

The coming wind doth roar more loud;

The sails do sigh like sedge:

The rain pours down from one black cloud

And the Moon is at its edge.

Hark! hark! the thick black cloud is cleft,

And the Moon is at its side:

Like waters shot from some high crag,

The lightning falls with never a jag

A river steep and wide.

The strong wind reach'd the ship: it roar'd

And dropp'd down, like a stone!

Beneath the lightning and the moon

The dead men gave a groan.

They groan'd, they stirr'd, they all uprose,

Ne spake, ne mov'd their eyes:

It had been strange, even in a dream

To have seen those dead men rise.

The helmsman steer'd, the ship mov'd on;

Yet never a breeze up-blew;

The Marineres all 'gan work the ropes

Where they were wont to do:

They rais'd their limbs like lifeless tools--

We were a ghastly crew.

The body of my brother's son

Stood by me knee to knee:

The body and I pull'd at one rope,

But he said nought to me--

And I quak'd to think of my own voice

How frightful it would be!

The day-light dawn'd--they dropp'd their arms,

And cluster'd round the mast:

Sweet sounds rose slowly thro' their mouths

And from their bodies pass'd.

Around, around, flew each sweet sound,

Then darted to the sun:

Slowly the sounds came back again

Now mix'd, now one by one.

Sometimes a dropping from the sky

I heard the Lavrock sing;

Sometimes all little birds that are

How they seem'd to fill the sea and air

With their sweet jargoning,

And now 'twas like all instruments,

Now like a lonely flute;

And now it is like an angel's song

That makes the heavens be mute.

It ceas'd: yet still the sails made on

A pleasant noise till noon,

A noise like of a hidden brook

In the leafy month of June,

That to the sleeping woods all night

Singeth a quiet tune.

Listen, O listen, thou Wedding-guest!

"Marinere! thou hast thy will:

"For that, which comes out of thine eye, doth make

"My body and soul to be still."

Never sadder tale was told

To a man of woman born:

Sadder and wiser thou wedding-guest!

Thou'lt rise to morrow morn.

Never sadder tale was heard

By a man of woman born:

The Marineres all return'd to work

As silent as beforne.

The Marineres all 'gan pull the ropes,

But look at me they n'old:

Thought I, I am as thin as air--

They cannot me behold.

Till noon we silently sail'd on

Yet never a breeze did breathe:

Slowly and smoothly went the ship

Mov'd onward from beneath.

Under the keel nine fathom deep

From the land of mist and snow

The spirit slid: and it was He

That made the Ship to go.

The sails at noon left off their tune

And the Ship stood still also.

The sun right up above the mast

Had fix'd her to the ocean:

But in a minute she 'gan stir

With a short uneasy motion--

Backwards and forwards half her length

With a short uneasy motion.

Then, like a pawing horse let go,

She made a sudden bound:

It flung the blood into my head,

And I fell into a swound.

How long in that same fit I lay,

I have not to declare;

But ere my living life return'd,

I heard and in my soul discern'd

Two voices in the air,

"Is it he? quoth one, "Is this the man?

"By him who died on cross,

"With his cruel bow he lay'd full low

"The harmless Albatross.

"The spirit who 'bideth by himself

"In the land of mist and snow,

"He lov'd the bird that lov'd the man

"Who shot him with his bow."

The other was a softer voice

As soft as honey-dew:

Quoth he the man hath penance done,

And penance more will do.

VI.

FIRST VOICE.

"But tell me, tell me! speak again,

"Thy soft response renewing--

"What makes that ship drive on so fast?

"What is the Ocean doing?

SECOND VOICE.

"Still as a Slave before his Lord,

"The Ocean hath no blast:

"His great bright eye most silently

"Up to the moon is cast--

"If he may know which way to go,

"For she guides him smooth or grim.

"See, brother, see! how graciously

"She looketh down on him.

FIRST VOICE.

"But why drives on that ship so fast

"Withouten wave or wind?

Second Voice.

"The air is cut away before,

And closes from behind.

"Fly, brother, fly! more high, more high,

"Or we shall be belated.

"For slow and slow that ship will go,

"When the Marinere's trance is abated.

I woke, and we were sailing on

As in a gentle weather:

Twas night, calm night, the moon was high;

The dead men stood together.

All stood together on the deck,

For a charnel-dungeon fitter:

All fix'd on me their stony eyes

That in the moon did glitter.

The pang, the curse with which they died,

Had never pass'd away:

I could not draw my een from theirs

Ne turn them up to pray.

And in its time the spell was snapt,

And I could move my een:

I look'd far-forth, but little saw

Of what might else be seen.

Like one, that on a lonely road

Doth walk in fear and dread,

And having once turn'd round, walks on

And turns no more his head:

Because he knows, a frightful fiend

Doth close behind him tread.

But soon there breath'd a wind on me,

Ne sound ne motion made:

Its path was not upon the sea

In ripple or in shade.

It rais'd my hair, it fann'd my cheek,

Like a meadow-gale of spring--

It mingled strangely with my fears,

Yet it felt like a welcoming.

Swiftly, swiftly flew the ship,

Yet she sail'd softly too:

Sweetly, sweetly, blew the breeze--

On me alone it blew.

O dream of joy! is this indeed

The light-house top I see?

Is this the Hill? Is this the Kirk?

Is this mine own countrÃ©e?

We drifted o'er the Harbour-bar,

And I with sobs did pray--

"O let me be awake, my God!

"Or let me sleep alway!"

The harbour-bay was clear as glass,

So smoothly it was strewn!

And on the bay the moon light lay,

And the shadow of the moon.

The moonlight bay was white all o'er,

Till rising from the same,

Full many shapes, that shadows were,

Like as of torches came.

A little distance from the prow

Those dark-red shadows were;

But soon I saw that my own flesh

Was red as in a glare.

I turn'd my head in fear and dread,

And by the holy rood,

The bodies had advanc'd, and now

Before the mast they stood.

They lifted up their stiff right arms,

They held them strait and tight;

And each right-arm burnt like a torch,

A torch that's borne upright.

Their stony eye-balls glitter'd on

In the red and smoky light.

I pray'd and turn'd my head away

Forth looking as before.

There was no breeze upon the bay,

No wave against the shore.

The rock shone bright, the kirk no less

That stands above the rock:

The moonlight steep'd in silentness

The steady weathercock.

And the bay was white with silent light,

Till rising from the same

Full many shapes, that shadows were,

In crimson colours came.

A little distance from the prow

Those crimson shadows were:

I turn'd my eyes upon the deck--

O Christ! what saw I there?

Each corse lay flat, lifeless and flat;

And by the Holy rood

A man all light, a seraph-man,

On every corse there stood.

This seraph-band, each waved his hand:

It was a heavenly sight:

They stood as signals to the land,

Each one a lovely light:

This seraph-band, each waved his hand,

No voice did they impart--

No voice; but O! the silence sank,

Like music on my heart.

Eftsones I heard the dash of oars,

I heard the pilot's cheer:

My head was turn'd perforce away

And I saw a boat appear.

Then vanish'd all the lovely lights;

The bodies rose anew:

With silent pace, each to his place,

Came back the ghastly crew.

The wind, that shade nor motion made,

On me alone it blew.

The pilot, and the pilot's boy

I heard them coming fast:

Dear Lord in Heaven! it was a joy

The dead men could not blast.

I saw a third--I heard his voice:

It is the Hermit good!

He singeth loud his godly hymns

That he makes in the wood.

He'll shrieve my soul, he'll wash away

The Albatross's blood.

VII.

This Hermit good lives in that wood

Which slopes down to the Sea.

How loudly his sweet voice he rears!

He loves to talk with Marineres

That come from a far ContrÃ©e.

He kneels at morn and noon and eve--

He hath a cushion plump:

It is the moss, that wholly hides

The rotted old Oak-stump.

The Skiff-boat ne'rd: I heard them talk,

"Why, this is strange, I trow!

"Where are those lights so many and fair

"That signals made but now?

"Strange, by my faith! the Hermit said--

"And they answer'd not our cheer.

"The planks look warp'd, and see those sails

"How thin they are and sere!

"I never saw aught like to them

"Unless perchance it were

"The skeletons of leaves that lag

"My forest brook along:

"When the Ivy-tod is heavy with snow,

"And the Owlet whoops to the wolf below

"That eats the she-wolf's young.

"Dear Lord! it has a fiendish look--

(The Pilot made reply)

"I am afear'd.--"Push on, push on!

"Said the Hermit cheerily.

The Boat came closer to the Ship,

But I ne spake ne stirred!

The Boat came close beneath the Ship,

And strait a sound was heard!

Under the water it rumbled on,

Still louder and more dread:

It reach'd the Ship, it split the bay;

The Ship went down like lead.

Stunn'd by that loud and dreadful sound,

Which sky and ocean smote:

Like one that hath been seven days drown'd

My body lay afloat:

But, swift as dreams, myself I found

Within the Pilot's boat.

Upon the whirl, where sank the Ship,

The boat spun round and round:

And all was still, save that the hill

Was telling of the sound.

I mov'd my lips: the Pilot shriek'd

And fell down in a fit.

The Holy Hermit rais'd his eyes

And pray'd where he did sit.

I took the oars: the Pilot's boy,

Who now doth crazy go,

Laugh'd loud and long, and all the while

His eyes went to and fro,

"Ha! ha!" quoth he--"full plain I see,

"The devil knows how to row."

And now all in my own Countree

I stood on the firm land!

The Hermit stepp'd forth from the boat,

And scarcely he could stand.

"O shrieve me, shrieve me, holy Man!

The Hermit cross'd his brow--

"Say quick," quoth he, "I bid thee say

"What manner of man art thou?

Forthwith this frame of mine was wrench'd

With a woeful agony,

Which forc'd me to begin my tale

And then it left me free.

Since then at an uncertain hour

Now oftimes and now fewer,

That anguish comes and makes me tell

My ghastly aventure.

I pass, like night, from land to land;

I have strange power of speech;

The moment that his face I see

I know the man that must hear me;

To him my tale I teach.

What loud uproar bursts from that door!

The Wedding-guests are there;

But in the Garden-bower the Bride

And Bride-maids singing are:

And hark the little Vesper-bell

Which biddeth me to prayer.

O Wedding-guest! this soul hath been

Alone on a wide wide sea:

So lonely 'twas, that God himself

Scarce seemed there to be.

O sweeter than the Marriage-feast,

'Tis sweeter far to me

To walk together to the Kirk

With a goodly company.

To walk together to the Kirk

And all together pray,

While each to his great father bends,

Old men, and babes, and loving friends,

And Youths, and Maidens gay.

Farewell, farewell! but this I tell

To thee, thou wedding-guest!

He prayeth well who loveth well

Both man and bird and beast.

He prayeth best who loveth best,

All things both great and small:

For the dear God, who loveth us,

He made and loveth all.

The Marinere, whose eye is bright,

Whose beard with age is hoar,

Is gone; and now the wedding-guest

Turn'd from the bridegroom's door.

He went, like one that hath been stunn'd

And is of sense forlorn:

A sadder and a wiser man

He rose the morrow morn.

One of the longest poems ever written. It dates back to the late 18th century and has spawned on of the longest metal songs ever written. No vid for the song 'cause it's 13 minutes long and not one video on YouTube has it in one part. They are all broken into 2 parts. So look to the top left and just play the mp3.

The Rime of the Ancient Mariner by Iron Maiden

Hear the rime of the ancient mariner

See his eye as he stops one of three

Mesmerises one of the wedding guests

Stay here and listen to the nightmares of the sea.

And the music plays on, as the bride passes by

Caught by his spell and the mariner tells his tale.

Driven south to the land of the snow and ice

To a place where nobody's been

Through the snow fog flies on the albatross

Hailed in God's name, hoping good luck it brings.

And the ship sails on, back to the North

Through the fog and ice and the albatross follows on.

The mariner kills the bird of good omen

His shipmates cry against what he's done

But when the fog clears, they justify him

And make themselves a part of the crime.

Sailing on and on and north across the sea

Sailing on and on and north 'til all is calm.

The albatross begins with its vengeance

A terrible curse a thirst has begun

His shipmates blame bad luck on the mariner

About his neck, the dead bird is hung.

And the curse goes on and on at sea

And the thirst goes on and on for them and me.

"Day after day, day after day,

we stuck nor breath nor motion

as idle as a painted ship upon a painted ocean

Water, water everywhere and

all the boards did shrink

Water, water everywhere nor any drop to drink."

There calls the mariner

There comes a ship over the line

But how can she sail with no wind in her sails and no tide.

See...onward she comes

Onward she nears out of the sun

See, she has no crew

She has no life, wait but there's two.

Death and she Life in Death,

They throw their dice for the crew

She wins the mariner and he belongs to her now.

Then...crew one by one

they drop down dead, two hundred men

She...she, Life in Death.

She lets him live, her chosen one.

"One after one by the star dogged moon,

too quick for groan or sigh

each turned his face with a ghastly pang

and cursed me with his eye

four times fifty living men

(and I heard nor sigh nor groan)

with heavy thump, a lifeless lump,

they dropped down one by one."

The curse it lives on in their eyes

The mariner he wished he'd die

Along with the sea creatures

But they lived on, so did he.

And by the light of the moon

He prays for their beauty not doom

With heart he blesses them

God's creatures all of them too.

Then the spell starts to break

The albatross falls from his neck

Sinks down like lead into the sea

Then down in falls comes the rain.

Hear the groans of the long dead seamen

See them stir and they start to rise

Bodies lifted by good spirits

None of them spake and they're lifeless in their eyes

And revenge is still sought, penance starts again

Cast into a trance and the nightmare carries on.

Now the curse is finally lifted

And the mariner sights his home

spirits go from the long dead bodies

Form their own light and the mariner's left alone.

And then a boat came sailing towards him

It was a joy he could not believe

The pilot's boat, his son and the hermit,

Penance of life will fall onto him.

And the ship it sinks like lead into the sea

And the hermit shrieves the mariner of his sins.

The mariner's bound to tell of his story

To tell this tale wherever he goes

To teach God's word by his own example

That we must love all things that God made.

And the wedding guest's a sad and wiser man

And the tale goes on and on and on.

10:21 PM / 9 January

2009-01-09T22:21:00.002+08:00

I guess I better talk about this here since I have nobody to have a proper conversation about this topic. It's about the Israel invasion of Gaza.

I know the invasion is causing a lot of grief for people in that region. Then I get these invites on facebook to be against the invasion of Gaza. But here is the thing. Israel was provoked. Towards the end of the initial ceasefire agreement, Hamas starting firing missiles before it was even over.

Wait. Don't get ahead of me.

What I absolutely detest is the amount of force used. They are using brute force to get to militants whose locations they don't even know exactly. It's like they're playing blindfolded whack-a-mole. It's just senseless...

But the thing that really riled me was when I saw a mosque in ruins after being attacked. It's just the most heartless thing you can do. Never, ever touch a place of worship. Not a mosque. Not a church. Not a monastery. No. If you do do that, you deserve to be drowned in your own blood.

But I guess that's what you get when you try to advocate peace. See the problem with peace is that to get your point across, you really can't do anything. Not anything that will bear a lot of impact anyway. That's when the military comes in. Which is why I like to say at times that 'War is a sad byproduct of peace".

Americans fighting on foreign soil with a war-monger at the helm while their own citizens are destroyed by forces of nature. Soldiers should be peacekeepers in the service of their country, not underpaid mercenaries. Build your defences. Spend money on things that make sense. Like taking care of your own people. Fight on your own soil and maybe you could be bigger heroes. Not that I'm dissing the soldiers. Hell no. The shit they go through I hope I never have to do in whatever short lifetime I may have. I salute you. Not your current president.

For conspiracy theorists here's a little something for you guys. Israel is known as an ally of the US. Bush, leaving office soon, will not have anymore control in the situation in the Middle East. How to maintain the troops position in the Middle East? Get Israel to provoke another Middle East Country. Iran is nearby. If they join in the fun and games, voila, we have Korea part II.

Just a little something...

Refuse/Resist by Sepultura at the top right hand corner. Great song. Sorta pseudo protest song for the Tiananmen Square incident that happened in China.

Chaos A.D.
Tanks On The Streets
Confronting Police
Bleeding The Plebs
Raging Crowd
Burning Cars
Bloodshed Starts
Who'll Be Alive?!

Chaos A.D.
Army In Siege
Total Alarm
I'm Sick Of This
Inside The State
War Is Created
No Man's Land
What Is This Shit?!

Refuse/Resist
Refuse

Chaos A.D.
Disorder Unleashed
Starting To Burn
Starting To Lynch
Silence Means Death
Stand On Your Feet
Inner Fear
Your Worst Enemy

Refuse/Resist

2:28 AM / 1 January

2009-01-01T02:28:00.003+08:00

Heh. Happy New Year guys.

To tell you the truth, I never thought I'd see myself live to see 2009. So much shit happening around. There were times I just couldn't handle the change.

Sounds a bit funny since I'm such a big advocate of change.

But sometimes, change happens and you don't really expect it to turn out the way it does. I guess that's what happened to me. I just couldn't take it. Being forced to move places, my dad getting arthritis. It all just piled on for me.

I tried to see the bright side of things. But sometimes I just couldn't see it. See the point of it all.

There was a time my mind was just consumed by unthinkable thoughts that I would normally never let myself feel. It just go to a point where I just didn't want to wake up the next day.

But I got through. And it's because of the few of my closest friends. You guys might not know it. But the time that we spent together just helped me through. To see that it was all worth it.

My previous post comes from the quote that appears at the beginning. I came to find that quote within myself a few days back, on a certain Sunday morning.

This place has taken a lot from me, and very soon, will take a lot more from me. But I know there will come a time where I can say, "Screw you" and take everything back. For me, for my family and for my friends.

But I knew the first step was getting through this year. And as I said, you guys might not know it, but the times we spent together really got me through. But it's these type of things I would rather keep to myself. It's what gets me through.

Thanks guys.

9:30 PM / 29 December

2008-12-29T22:19:00.000+08:00

"This city...

Takes away from you

It's up to you to take it back"

This City... by Fariq

Awake, and barely breathing

Alone as I shudder

I'm alone

I'm not thinking

My life before me

Has been set

For me my destiny

Before my first breath

Because...

This city...

This city it takes and it takes

And it never gives back

This...

This city...

It's all I ever wanted

And all I want to throw back

How can we live

The way we do

Our lives just lived

Our fates the same

We just take what we need

Our lives the same

Towards the end

Will we repent?

Does it make a difference

That we're all just the same

With hopes and fears

And people so dear

When

This city...

This city was never meant for me

This ground that I step on

You're nothing to me

This...

This city...

Takes all that I am

But nobody cares

I'm not alone

It'll never be fair

'Cause nobody cares for me

But I'll stay to fight

Fight for those who are just like me

Take back the things and set ourselves free

This city...

Takes and it takes

My perennial destiny

This...

This city...

Will burn to the ground

I'm taking everything back

For me

1:02 AM / 25 December

2008-12-25T01:46:00.000+08:00

Woah...Long time since I posted here. Before anything I'd just like to wish anyone who's celebrating a Merry Christmas/Happy Hanukkah/Happy Kwanzaa.

So yeah, as you can see, I'm very busy. Doing my attachment now at this web design company. We do websites for hotels and stuff. Not a bad gig it seems so far. I've actually been offered to stay on a little longer before I head off for NS. I'll just keep it in view for now...

Met with the Four4 (or whatever was left of them) peeps the other day. It felt good to go out and have a bit of fun. Life was hitting routine quite fast since attachment started. Thank God for these long weekends we have. I also have the PBMA chalet on Friday. Can't wait for that.

Now that I've been doing projects and attachments and stuff, I find that I kinda miss studying. I think it's that lack of learning that is bumming me out. It seems my brain is dying out on me even though I still am busy with work. Even the pages of news I try to read everyday on MSNBC.com can't stop my brain drain...

That's why I have found my cure for boredom at work. KNAC.com and Grooveshark Lite. KNAC is this old rock radio station from the U.S. that now houses itself online. My brother told me about it and it's the greatest thing. I wanted to listen to radio so that I didn't have to bother with choosing songs but I couldn't bring myself to listen to all the crap that they play on mainstream radio these days. So ta-daa. KNAC.com to the rescue.

Grooveshark on the other hand is for when I do want to listen to a particular song. It houses millions of songs on its servers and all I have to do is search for it and stream it. I can even make playlists and stuff. So there's no hassle in having to run a media player.

I really can't wait until browser-based computing takes off...

Oh yeah, Sembawang Shopping Centre just re-opened. They've got great shops there. There's a Challenger store, Fish & Co., Hei Sushi and don't forget Giant. Though I can't understand why there are no fast food outlets and of all coffee places why did they choose to have a Starbucks?! Godammit...

I've been watching a lot of live vids recently, in particular the Roadrunner United Concert. Some great collaborations in that one. Like this song called the Dagger. The personnel playing this song include:

Howard Jones / Robert Flynn - vocals
Andreas Kisser / Jeff Waters - lead guitar
Jordan Whelan - rhythm guitar
Adam Duce - rhythm guitar
Paul Gray - bass
Andols Herrick - drums

And Adam Duce, bassist for Machine Head on guitar, you just can't find anything else that can top that. It's just a great concert made up of great musicians.

10:55 PM / 25 November

2008-11-25T22:58:00.000+08:00

Cool shit. Meteor lands in Canada a couple of days ago. Damn, it was almost as bright as day...Take a look here.

12:28 AM / 11 November

2008-11-11T00:36:00.002+08:00

So after some time, I thought I should do another music post. New vid from Protest the Hero. This one's for their song Palms Read. Again, it questions the concept of evolution vs creationism, which has pretty much been the theme of their album Fortress. I've actually been waiting for this one for quite long. Well, here it is.

Palms Read by Protest The Hero

As often as always evolution comes crawling from the sea
Alive with urgency like suicide convinced the grass is greener on dry earth.

The march of serrated utterance like a soft cough
Muffled murmur sneaking through the lecture hall.
The crawl across the island, the sound of waves
Embodied water sprouting legs as loud as gallop

All the young people who took a leap without faith into a riverbed
That drowns about as much as it saves
Cuffing down on ground against the cries of gravity

Belly-up, half buried in the sand.
Extend a hand to the smallness of death
Understand that only dying is this colossal
Creation shedding skin to find a perfect equilibrium like fossils

All the young people who took a leap without faith into a riverbed
That drowns about as much as it saves

All the young cowards acting out for the braves forever hurled
Into the waters of their indifferent graves.

For a million years raise your glass in cheers
We will never answer where we came from
Only how we got here.

12:30 AM / 8 November

2008-11-08T01:01:00.000+08:00

Well, Obama has won. You know what the funny thing was? Everyone expected him to win, but when he did win it was much bigger than expected. I mean, just remembering Dr. King and his words, Rosa Parks and her actions, it seems like dream come true for Black Americans everywhere. I'm no historian or even an activist for that matter. But there was always that feeling that it was gonna be a turning point in modern history.

And I was looking through the poll statistics and there were some points to note. This was the largest voter turnout in quite some time. I guess all the vote registration campaigns paid off. And that was important. If you have an opinion, it's important to voice it. Especially when it comes down to choosing your nation's leader. But the diversity of his voters was also quite surprising. From what I heard, there was everyone from old people, young people, college-educated white males, people from the reddest red states (i.e. Ohio).

But imagine the scrutiny. He's young, supposedly inexperienced AND the first Black President. The world's in a financial crisis, there are 2 wars going on that is sapping strength from their country, foreign ties are mixed at best. One wrong move and that could be his end. I'm no American, but I just hope the people there just give him a chance.

There is one thing I do know however, he has to take care of his own country before taking care of the world. He may be the leader of the free world, but the free world needs America. Enough blabbering, here's his victory speech. This is what a real rallying speech should sound like.

12:12 AM / 19 October

2008-10-19T00:20:00.000+08:00

Wheee....Today was fun. Went Jalan Raya with all the PBMA peeps. And the great thing? No MRT or bus 'cause there were cars!!!

Hehe. No need to sweat in the hot sun while going to each other's houses. =)

Let's see, the drivers were Fadhil (Mitsubishi Lancer), Amirul (Honda Jazz), Hashir (Volkswagen Golf then switched with a Merc) and lastly Nuurun (Toyota Avio).

The great thing about cars is that we don't have to waste so much time travelling. And thanks to this little convenience, we managed to cover about 11 houses within 12 hours. And there was even time to get lost along the way. =)

Ouh. And I guess I shouldn't be saying this but, we did a bit of racing on the way too. Haha. All I can say is Fadhil is quite good beind the wheel (mainly 'cause I was in his car all the way. Hehe). Okay, I'll admit, Amirul's quite good behind the wheel too.

I think this is a very memorable Jalan Raya 'cause it's the first time we drove around. Hopefully I can join in next year and take my dad's Mazda3 for a spin. Then we'll see who's the top driver...

12:05 AM / 16 October

2008-10-16T00:11:00.000+08:00

I thought I'd post up a music video. This one's a new one from All That Remains. It's for their song Two Weeks. I love how Phil Labonte does a lot more singing in this song. He actually has quite a good voice. There's still a screaming backing track there so you still get those intense vocals. This is also one of the best solos I've heard from Oli Herbert. Oh yeah, the theme behind the vid is quite cool too.

Two Weeks by All That Remains

And you neglected I called you out don't please
I said we're stronger than this now
You resurrected mistakes years past it seemed
And they exist to still haunt you

And still you feel like the loneliness
Is better replaced by this
I don't believe it this way
And I can see the fear in your eyes
I've seen it materialize
Growing stronger each day

I could see it as you turned to stone
Still clearly I can hear you say
Don't leave, don't give up on me
Two weeks and you ran away
I remember don't lie to me
You couldn't see that it was not that way
Swear I never gave up on you

I wanted nothing but for that trust again
And brick by brick you would take it
You feared of phantoms and none exist but you
You still saw fit to destroy it

And still you feel like the loneliness
Is better replaced by this
I don't believe it this way
And I can see the fear in your eyes
I've seen it materialize
Growing stronger each day

I could see it as you turned to stone
Still clearly I can hear you say
Don't leave don't give up on me
Two weeks and you ran away
I remember don't lie to me
You couldn't see that it was not that way
Swear I never gave up on you

And you neglected I called you out don't please
I said we're stronger than this now
You feared of phantoms and none exist but you
You still saw fit to destroy it

And I can see the fear in your eyes
I've seen it materialize
Growing stronger each day

I could see it as you turned to stone
Still clearly I can hear you say
Don't leave don't give up on me
Two weeks you ran away

I could see it as you turned to stone
Still clearly I can hear you say
Don't leave don't give up on me
Two weeks and you ran away
I remember don't lie to me
You couldn't see that it was not that way
Swear I never gave up on you

11:55 PM / 12 October

2008-10-12T23:59:00.000+08:00

Here's a little vid put together by my supervisor at EMRS. I'm not in it much mainly 'cause I joined them after 3 weeks and there are few pics of me in the events I was involved in. Oh yeah, Team 5 pic also doesn't have my face...But the memories are there.

ELDC starts tomorrow. They say it'll be quite slack but I doubt it'll be as fun as EMRS.

11:45 PM / 10 October

2008-10-10T23:45:00.005+08:00

Aww man...I'll never forget today's date. It marks the end of pretty much the best 6 weeks of my life at NYP. I don't think it can get any better than my time at EMRS. At the start of TEP I was actually bummed that I got split from my class to go to EMRS. But now I see it was all worth it. It was only 6 weeks but damn we bonded well together. We were pretty much family when we left the room for the last time today. No disrespect to my classmates from DBI, but it seems that I just clicked in with the guys there. It was such a breath of fresh air considering that I had only 4 days of rest after my last exam paper before going off for TEP. And it was also a bit of ironic considering that for Entrepreneurship last semester, I did an events management company.

But I guess what worked was that there was a right mix of people there. Kinda like back in Anderson Sec. So you never really got bored with the people there. And I looked forward to going there every goddamn day. I had OT to claim and I really saw no reason to take it. I did not mind waking at 7:00 in the morning everyday and jamming myself into a train to get to school. I even left my guitar there to pass the time. The only downside was that I was fasting during most of my time there. So it got kinda boring during lunch.

Still, I feel like going to the room on Monday instead of ELDC just for the fun of it. I doubt they really de-activated my card. I'll go there and freak out the new round of students. Haha.

Well, I guess this set of lyrics from an All That Remains song can really sum things up.

"It's been so long since I could say
I've needed anything stronger
We can't be wrong when we have ties that bind us
If I rely and I know the strength
In those who taught me of the
Power of the ties that bind"

- from 'Chiron' by All That Remains

11:26 PM / 24 September

2008-09-24T23:26:00.002+08:00

Wow. Google's share prices must be on the rise. First it was the release of Chrome. And now, albeit finally, the release of Google Android, Google's open source handset operating system. I've read about its pending release for quite some time already. I'm not exactly sure what the impact will be like since Google isn't exactly the lifestyle branding powerhouse that Apple is. I mean the first release of the iPhone was in the last 2 days of their second financial quarter and it still managed to generate 2 million+ in profits for them. I wonder if the first Google Android phone will get the same reception.

I guess this is something that tech geeks will buy into more than your traditional consumer. As much as it is a handset debut, it is actually more of a software/OS debut. The phone itself does not really matter. What matters is what goes into it. I predict that this first "render", if you would like to call it that, of the Google Android OS may not be that perfect. It may take some other handset manufacturer or even some independent developer to really unlock what this handset OS is able to do. iPhone killer it may not be, but it could set the standard as to how handsets are supposed to function in the future.

8:33 PM / 19 September

2008-09-19T21:03:00.000+08:00

The concert scene in Singapore is getting better by the year. Avenged Sevenfold are performing in Singapore next month. So they stand by their promise to perform a full set here after doing SingFest last year. 24th October at Max Pavilion.

That didn't surprise. Though I was a bit taken aback by how short a period there was from the announcement to the actual concert itself.

What did surprise me is news that The Taste of Chaos Tour (International) was coming to Singapore. No specific details yet, but LAMC Productions have the ToC Tour banner on their website. Rumours state that it will happen some time in November. Bands expected to perform are As I Lay Dying, Story Of The Year, Atreyu and Japanese band MUCC. Tickets are expected to cost $75.

I'm more interested in the ToC tour mainly 'cause the bands in there are more towards the side that I've been listening to recently. Especially so for As I Lay Dying. And $95 is very cheap.

Before I go...An old video by a Singapore band.

Siti by Force Vomit

Cool huh? Haha.

4:48 PM / 14 September

2008-09-14T17:27:00.000+08:00

Woohoo. I finally got my hands on Death Magnetic. And on first listen, this is what I have to say: "Holy crap they are back". I think what Lars Ulrich said was true. This is the best album that they could have made. It's no Master of Puppets, but who wants to here all those songs again. This is a mish mash of what Bay Area thrash is about. The crazy tempo changes, Lars' offbeat timing and Kirk's trademark soloing style. It's clearly a breath of fresh air. Here's a breakdown of the songs:

That Was Just Yor Life - Trademark Metallica opener. Fade in followed by insanely fast riffs. Reminded me a lot of Dyers Eve from ...And Justice For All

The End Of The Line - The speed is toned down a bit but still as heavy. Intro sounds a bit like Harvester of Sorrow.

Broken, Beat & Scarred - Sounds a bit like The Shortest Straw. Pretty much the first 3 songs of Death Magnetic sound very much like stuff from ...And Justice For All. In a good way though.

The Day That Never Comes - Their first single. This song is 2 part it seems. Like the way One was made. Starts out slow then midway there is a massive tempo change. Starts out like Fade To Black and finishes off like One. The harmonies also make it seem just epic.

All Nightmare Long - I like the intro with the bass which then switches into the heavy riffing. Possibly the longest intro they've done. WWE are using this song for No Mercy.

Cyanide - The intro sounds familiar but I can't put my finger on it. The riffs on this one sound cool. And the arrangement is great. Slight tempo changes also make the song refreshing.

The Unforgiven III - I swear you can actually sing Unforgiven over the backing track of this one. One of the slower songs on the album. Also sounds a little like I Disappear.

The Judas Kiss - I like this song. It has that bluesy feel which is something that I always liked about Metallica, their blues influence. The chorus is one of the better ones on this album.

Suicide & Redemption - Instrumental song. I prefer the older instrumentals over this one as this one is just filled with riffs and not as technically profound as the older ones like Orion.

My Apocalypse - Sounds like Fuel. But only very remotely. It's something that my brain does after listening to a million and one riffs it is able to remember even the smallest riffs. This is a fast song with a couple of tempo changes. Good riffs in this one too.

My favourite songs so far are That Was Just Your Life, The Unforgiven III, Judas Kiss and The Day That Never Comes mainly 'cause they are the songs that hit me the most on first listen. I'm sure the other songs will grow on me as I listen to the album more.

9:40 PM /10 September

2008-09-10T21:49:00.001+08:00

I guess it's time for another cryptic entry judging by the date. I'm pretty tired but this is what I will say.

- A day is only a measurement of time. There is no such thing as a bad day. All we have are our downfalls and our uprisings. Mine started about 4 months ago. Both my downfall and my uprising.

- I've let my thoughts consume me before. And the feeling is both scary and exhilirating. You will never know yourself until you leave yourself to feed on itself. Your thoughts, emotions and psyche. I learned that I'm more morbid than I think I am.

- If tormented by demons, they say ending it all is just running away from it. 'They' have never ended anything. Taking yourself may be the only way to face those demons. Where they are tangible and true. Devil be thy name but thy whispers I shall toss in thy face for thou shalt not rid me of my soul or my humanity.

End.

3:35 PM / 6 September

2008-09-06T16:03:00.001+08:00

Wheeee....Life's so fun at the moment. I'm doing Events Management and Road Shows(EMRS) for TEP now. So basically my 'department' if you would like to call it that, is in charge of pretty much all the events in and around NYP and even a couple outside. At first I was bummed 'cause I was separated from the rest of my module group who were sent to the Business Services Unit. But now I'm feeling kinda happy that I'm there. Here's why.

Monday: Reach EMRS. I'm told there's no work to be done since an event just finished the week before and planning for the next one hadn't started. We only had a 30 min meeting that day. I regretted not bringing my laptop but still managed to facebook and play PSP the whole day.

Tuesday: Brought my laptop and a book to read. Had a meeting that day for about 40 min if I'm not wrong. Played Football Manager the whole day after that.

Wednesday: Meeting in the morning followed by DoTA on laptop after that. Played CnC Generals at Raiders with some of the guys during lunch. At around 2pm EMRS had to go to Suntec to visit a Food Fair. Team 3 had to do a survey for them on the environment of the food fair and a bit of mystery shopping. Did that for the rest of the day.

Thursday: Meeting with supervisor in the morning. One of the guys downloaded Generals and all of us installed it. Tried to play on LAN but ran into errors. So played campaign the whole day. There was a meeting in there around 2.30pm too.

Friday: My team, which is Team 5, have to go recce an Old Folk's Home for an upcoming event which is a Community Event. They have to go at around 1pm which means I can't go 'cause of Friday prayers. But, I've got work to do. Had to do a poster for the event. Spent about 60% of my day doing 3 posters. Sad thing is the first 2 got rejected 'cause the higher-ups want it in landscape form not portrait. Played table tennis in the 'office' towards the end of the day.

So as you can see, life is not too bad to me. Work is gonna pick up around the tail-end of next week as we get closer to the event. But for now, the easing in process is great. And the guys in my team are a great bunch of people too.

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5:24 AM / 3 September

2008-09-03T05:27:00.001+08:00

The Day That Never Comes by Metallica

Hell yeah they're back. Can't wait for the 12th. Pre-orders at HMV are $29.95 and the boxset pre-orders are $189.95. Oh man. The things I would do to get my hands on the boxset.

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10:29 AM / 31 August

2008-08-31T10:54:00.001+08:00

Chiron by All That Remains

Damn. I can't wait for ATR's new album. Not as badly as the new Metallica one, but I'm just curious as to how it'll sound like. I mean Oli Herbert is a crazy guitarist. He looks like Odin and plays guitar like no other. And Mike Martin use to study guitar under Oli Herbert so I guess that helps in creating a close playing style between them. And come on, there's nothing fiercer than Jeanne Sagan. And thank goodness they finally have a proper drummer now. They've been having to go through a lot of them on the previous album. And Jason Costa is unique since he grips his sticks more like a jazz drummer would. Maybe I should try that sometime. Anyway, their new album will be titled 'Overcome' and is due to be released on 16 September.

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11:25 PM / 28 August

2008-08-29T00:56:00.001+08:00

3 days left 'til the fasting month starts. Can't wait. Really. My body's already anticipating the arrival of Ramadhan. However it's also 3 days to the start of TEP. No rest for the wicked I guess. And hell yeah I'm wicked.

One thing that I've really been wanting to do for quite some time is to talk about the US Presidential Elections, in particular the naming of Sen. Barack Obama as the Democratic Presidential Candidate.

Towards the tail-end of my second year there was an ICA for International Business where we just had to analyse some current issue that would affect international trade. My group did an analysis on the US Presidential Race. Okay it was more of me forcing the topic on my group, but the other ideas were boring. I think.

Back to the topic at hand. At that point, the presidential race was still in its earlier stages. Both Democrats and Republicans still had quite a few nominees running gunning for the seat and there was no definite idea of who was going to represent each party since each party could only submit one candidate for the presidential elections.

Since we had to focus on international trade we looked at their stand on the subject matter at hand. Everybody may be gunning for a Democrat mainly because of the situation in Iraq and the domestic economical situation of the US. But plainly in terms of international trade, it was not necessarily the better choice. This is also if it's in the POV of a foreign country.

You see, Democrats are not generally in favor of Free Trade. What they support is the concept of Fair Trade. Free Trade in its simplistic term is barrier-free trade between countries. No tariffs or quotas. Fair Trade on the other hand means that a country should have the right to protect the interests of their local producers and traders. This includes controlling inflow of foreign-produced products which are usually cheaper than locally-produced goods.

Proof includes the fact that in President Bill Clinton's 8 years in office only one real FTA was signed, that being the North American FTA (NAFTA). President Bush on the other hand installed about 4 or 5 FTAs one of which is the Singapore-US FTA. Even more recently, 187 Democrats in the recently elected House of Representatives were against President Bush's proposed Central American FTA (CAFTA). So Democrats will not really want to sign an FTA especially if there are no tangible benefits for the US.

What exactly does this mean? Well, if you're a producer looking to export your products to the US, its gonna be hard to go in barrier-free. Especially if you are hoping for your country to get an FTA with the US under the new presidency. And since US is pretty much the largest consuming country in the world (which is pretty much the reason why they have such a massive trade deficit), which exporter would not want a piece of that pie?

But looking back at the overly massive figure that is the US Trade Deficit, this could be the right thing for the US. Control influx of imports from other nations and try to kickstart their own export industry. It will roll consumer dollars back into the hands of the US and possibly counteract the inflation that is dwindling the US dollar's value. This may strengthen their economy and cross my fingers will slowdown the recession. A recession is inevitable, but at least this may lessen the impact. Hopefully.

And I also have a sneaking suspicion that the high oil prices are also indirectly affected by a weak US dollar. My lecturer told me that the recent drop in oil prices is due mainly to recession fears so it might seem like a paradox, but in my humble opinion, a stronger US dollar could be more of a double-positive than a cancel-out.

But back to the candidate discussion. I'm not gonna talk about McCain 'cause he is a douchebag and possibly a step backward from Bush. No really. He was the worst possible Republican to get chosen. My group actually predicted Sen. Hillary Clinton to be nominated since she was leading the polls at that time. She also voted for the NAFTA to be enacted back when her husband was President. Though this is not necessarily a sign of bias since at that time it actually seemed advantageous to enact the FTA. And also, her experience was what made us back her for the nomination. But I guess she ran out of steam and Obama's beliefs and charisma started to shine. It's a bit risky mainly due to the fact that Obama does lack some experience. But still, a Democratic victory should be on the cards.

Well, that's my 2 cents worth. I was a bit disappointed that Sen. Clinton did not win the nomination but not overly disappointed since Obama is a good candidate too. Still, it would have been good to see a woman in charge of the US.

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11:54AM / 25 August

2008-08-25T11:55:00.001+08:00

Since U Been Gone

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4:58 AM / 22 August

2008-08-22T04:59:00.001+08:00

Best Math Answer hands down. Beats the lame find x pics hands down. The power of logic shall kill us all. Or at least kill those who are stupid enough. Lol

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2:51PM / 18 August

2008-08-18T14:53:00.001+08:00

Best song from the region hands down.

Dangdut Is The Music Of My Country by Project Pop

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8:07 PM / 14 August

2008-08-14T20:09:00.001+08:00

Clouds Over California by Devildriver

I'm not really into Devildriver that much. This is pretty much their only song I've really listened to or liked mainly due to the opening guitar lick after about a few bars of the intro.

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5:27 PM / 12 August

2008-08-12T17:28:00.001+08:00

Jamie All Over by Mayday Parade

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7:25 PM / 7 August

2008-08-07T20:30:00.001+08:00

Hmmm.... What to say. What to say.

I'm pretty much done with 90% of this semester. All I have left are 2 exams. One on the 20th and another on the 27th. So I don't really have to start stressing myself out now.

I mean seriously, the projects this past semester was enough to make anyone scream. Let me list out all that I had to do.

- Entrepreneurship: Had to come up with a viable business plan which was to be presented in front of industry people. Deliverables included a mock-up of our product, a website, posters, flyers, brochures, actual feasible financial plans and a sound marketing plan.

Events On The Move:EVOM

- Enterprise Application Integration Project: Had to build a full-on website with Google Map and AJAX functionality.

- J2EE: This I have to give mad props to my group. 'cause I didn't do much for this one. Had to build a blog for this assignment

- Global Supply Chain Management: Had to do a study into the Supply Chain methods of Exxon Mobil

- Internet Marketing: Had to do an individual report on the internet marketing strategies of Vans.com.

- Internet Marketing: Had to do another group report and presentation to improve Sheng Siong Supermarket's web presence. Had to build a mock-up of the planned web site

So it seems like just six projects. But Entrepreneurship and EAIPJ lasted the whole semester. So focus kinda gets thrown around a lot when you have to manage your time around these 2 projects. Oh yeah and not to mention that somewhere in all those projects 4 websites were made. Thank God I made it through all these in one piece.

Study break is here. Too bad I don't got no holidays this semester. After my last paper, it's off to do my Teaching Enterprise Project and my Industrial Placement Program. To be frank, life in NYP was never easy but damn it was hella worth the ride.

Now with some time on my hands I can go back to studying Mixed Martial Arts. I tried doing a bit of it this past semester but skool kinda drowned it out. I have yet to finish watching Bas Rutten's career fights. There's about 3+ hours of footage in there. Good ones I might add.

I just got finished watching Never Back Down. Thought I could use it to get me back into the MMA mood. It's a good movie and I've been looking forward to watching it for a long time. Though the fights are nothing like those in real MMA. For instance, the protagonist's (whoever his name was) kicks were too wild. And some of the submissions pulled off were just crazy. I mean it's all good for the movie screens but I prefer the real thing.

Like for instance this fight right here.

Bas Rutten vs Jason Delucia (Pancrase)

Bas Rutten is my favourite fighter and there's nothing better than learning from the fighter himself. I've never met him, but at least his collection of career fights has him explaining what was going through his head during the fight.

This match is wicked mainly cause of how methodical it all seems. For those of you who don't know, Pancrase does not allow closed-fist punches to the head. So you can only used open palm slaps to the head but you can still punch the body.

This match was pretty much the first match where I learned something about MMA or any fight sport in general. The liver is the biggest organ in the torso and hitting the liver spot-on is way more painful than a knockout because when you get knocked-out you don't feel any pain during the duration when you are out. With a liver shot you feel it during and after you get hit.

Argh. I think I'm gonna go back to pestering my dad to get me a punching bag and some MMA gloves.

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3:19 AM / 5 August

2008-08-05T03:21:00.002+08:00

2 Days After My Birthday it Arrives...

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3:42 AM / 30 July

2008-07-30T03:45:00.001+08:00

I've only got 5 words to say today. Max Cavalera is a monster.

Sanctuary by Cavalera Conspiracy

Unleash by Soulfly feat. Dave Peters from Throwdown

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4:08 PM / 26 July

2008-07-26T16:27:00.001+08:00

Long time no blog. Not on purpose though. Busy busy busy. Presentations this coming Friday, Saturday and next Tuesday. If deadlines could kill, I'd be dead. But hey, last study semester. September begins the final lap. TEP followed up by IPP and after that, graduation.

I've got nothing else to say. So I'll just post up some videos. And a new song on my Muzicon.

Psychosocial by Slipknot

Heores of Our Time by DragonForce

Halo by Machine Head

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12:35 AM / 6 July

2008-07-06T02:59:00.001+08:00

So, it's been a bout 2 months since I moved out and into my granddad's place. Life's been cool. I've mellowed out. Though I still do not know the regularity with which the buses come. Thus I still tend to be late for school. That and the fact that I still can't seem to wake up on time.

All in all, my granddad's place still rules. As I said, this place houses a lot of history. 4 generations have a connection to this house and it feels good to be here knowing that I'm a part of that. And it's good to spend all this time with my granddad. He's in his early 90's and it's not very good to be alone at such an age. So I kinda feel there's a bit of reason as to why we are staying here at all.

There's also another great reason why I love this house. Well 2 actually. My granddad used to do a lot of gardening in the past and among other things that this house has, it has a coconut tree and a rambutan tree. Cool huh?

I took this pic above a week ago. They are ripe now and hang exactly outside the living room window behind my couch.

I found this cool website called Muzicons.com off of WebWare.com. It creates this simple widget for playing MP3s on your website or blog or even to post on a forum. What I liked about it the most was it's simplicity in customisation, something getting ever so impossible these days. My only gripe with the Muzicon widget is that it does not have an option to activate auto-play on load.

I posted a song on the sidebar by Mayday Parade called Jamie All Over. I've been listening to this song almost non-stop. It's a nice song that I got from the 2008 Warped Tour Compilation that I bought recently. Very upbeat and great vocals. I also like the meaning behind it. It speaks about 2 things: falling in love, though in dreams, and not wanting to let go of it. Sort of a simpler and more way to look at our fantasies. I actually feel that there is some overlapping notions in the song that I have experienced before, if you catch my drift. So yeah, just click play if you wanna listen in on what plays in my head.

Jamie All Over by Mayday Parade

I had a dream last night we
Drove out to see Las Vegas
We lost ourselves in the bright lights
I wish you could have seen us
Begging for change to get home
Or at least San Francisco
We put a ten on the high card
And spent a summer on the west coast

Down and to the left
(Here's a map and a pen, this place, let's point it out)
We can't live four years past
(All I ask, all I ask)

And please don't tell me that I'm dreamin'
When all I ever wanted was to dream another sunset with you
Fire all over
When it's over
I'll take this Cali sunrise with me
And wake up with the fondest memories

We made love by the ocean
As the waves crashed around you
The sunset's never were so bright
And the skies they were so blue
You opened up into my arms
And we laughed as I held you
I'll never go back to Georgia
Not at least 'till I have to

Down and to the left
(Here's a map and a pen, this place, let's point it out)
We can't live four years past
(All I ask, all I ask)

And please don't tell me that I'm dreamin'
When all I ever wanted was to dream another sunset with you
Fire all over
When it's over
I'll take this Cali sunrise with me
And wake up with the fondest memories
Memories

I had a dream last night we
Drove out to see Las Vegas
We lost ourselves in the bright lights

Please don't tell me that I'm dreamin'
When all I ever wanted was to dream another sunset with you
Fire all over
when it's over
I'll take this Cali sunrise with me
And wake up with the fondest memories

We made love by the ocean
As the waves crashed around you
The sunset's never were so bright
And the skies they were so blue
You opened up into my arms
And we laughed as I held you
I'll never go back to Georgia
Not at least 'till I have to

Down and to the left

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1:23 AM / 2 July

2008-07-02T01:37:00.001+08:00

No more From Autumn to Ashes? Damn. They did not break up. Just an indefinite hiatus the band says. That sucks. I was really waiting for a new release from them. The only album from them I ever listened to was Holding a Wolf By The Ears. I never really listened to their old stuff mainly because their previous lead singer was a douchebag. And I prefer Francis Mark's lyricism. It's just very cryptic and serene all at the same time. That's why I love this band. You can't really bend your head around the origins of each song but it still packs meaning. It's just a different experience listening to these type of bands.

Deth Kult Social Club by From Autumn to Ashes

On the might of kings and captains
On the eyes of midnight watchmen
I know my hatred is perfect
For the culprit who deserves it

Dead meat against your broken bones
Thrown in a ditch to die alone
But there is no dream worth pursuing
When there is nobody embracing
And there is no war worth fighting
When there is no blood worth spilling

On the might of kings and captains
On the eyes of midnight watchmen
I know my hatred is perfect
For the culprit who deserves it

Dead meat against your broken bones
Thrown in a ditch to die alone
But there is no dream worth pursuing
When there is nobody embracing
And there is no war worth fighting
When there is no blood worth spilling

I know my hatred is pure for the new recruit
(one, two, three, go!)
Imposters on the fast track
To public execution
Beggars for mercy unite
But your pleas are ineffective
And if you ever come back
Beautiful incarnation
I'll lie down at your feet and
Accept my punishment
You better save yourself
You better save yourself
You better save yourself

But there is no dream worth pursuing
When there is nobody embracing
And there is no war worth fighting
When there is no blood worth spilling
There is no dream worth pursuing
When there is nobody embracing
And there is no war worth fighting
When there is no blood worth spilling

I guess the only replacement I can think up of is Vanna.

A Dead Language For a Dying Lady

As her insides, screaming, let me out
She speaks as if someone's in the room with her
(Someone sits quietly on the ceiling tile)
Still facing the corner with eyes gouged out
These tears of blood fall for blood is
All she's crying now

As he cuts into her chest, her heart beats on
She's just not giving up yet
Though blinded by the devil's touch
She rises above him
She floats towards the light, as the darkness recedes
(let me out, let me live again)
In this most desperate hour (she cries)
A most desperate hour...

In this crowded room
In this crowded room
In this crowded room
(with an empty view)
In this crowded room
In this crowded room

Save your goodbyes, we all know it's not the end
Save your goodbyes, we all know it's not the end
Save your goodbyes, we all know it's not the end
Save your goodbyes, we all know it's not the end

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1:47 AM / 22 June

2008-06-22T01:53:00.001+08:00

I think that Flogging Molly are really a truly unique band. It's hard to classify them. And that's not a bad thing. The first thing that comes to mind is the sound of old Irish folk music. But somehow they have managed to mesh that into punk and rock very well. Celtic punk is what some describe them as. But I just call them very good music. It's oddly very relaxing despite the jovial tone that their music possesses. This right here is my favourite.

Laura by Flogging Molly

This next song is about a young lady called Laura
Who unfortunately isn't with us anymore
But she's still called Laura
...Here we go...

Feel the words from my lips
To your harsh finger tips
Then you know where I come from
Cause I know, yes I know
Everything there is to know
Cause I lost everything I had
See, I could have danced on the sun
But my world came undone

Laura!!!!!!!!

There's no need for tears
Cause there's no need to cry
The love that you leave
Will never be denied
This pain in my head escaped from my heart
No woman alive can touch who you were
So bye bye, Laura
Cause no one could take your place
Bye bye, Laura
Your beauty will never fade
The seed that you've sewn
Will reach for the sky
This love that you leave
Will never be denied
And after this song, her spirit lives on
Though your not around you'll never be gone

So bye bye, Laura
Cause no one can take your place
Bye bye, Laura
Your beauty will never fade
Well I... I could have danced on the sun
But my world came undone
Laura
Yeah, I could have danced on the sun
But my world came undone
So Bye Bye Laura
Bye Bye Laura

So bye bye, Laura
Bye bye Laura
This pain in my head escaped from my heart
No woman alive could touch who you were
So bye bye Laura
Cause no one could take your place
Bye bye Laura
Your beauty will never fade
So bye bye, Laura
Cause no one can take your place
Bye bye, Laura
Your beauty will never fade
FADE!

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9:59 AM / 19 June

2008-06-19T21:59:00.000+08:00

My favourite Protest The Hero song from Fortress.

Sequoia Throne by Protest The Hero

Did you come here to kill or did you come here to die?
Or did you really think that spaceships would descend from the sky?

Bending light and beaming forth across space-time
To see us scared in the reflection of their oil-black eyes
To stalk us like a predator
Like our movies imply

They're not the ones who've come to kill us
Come to fill us full of lead
They're not the ones who hate us
And they are not the ones who mutilate our animals
Or travel through the skies; they're not the ones who cause us harm

We are
We are, we are, we are
We are still-life and cold blooded
(I will not be)
We are still-life and cold blooded
(I will not be)

Hellbent on Heaven

While our righteous men are stuffing corpses full of shit and pain

We are, we are, we are still life
We are, we are, we are still life
We are, we are, we are
Still-life

They're not the ones who cause us harm
We are, we are
(Did you come here to kill or did you come here to die?)
We are still-life in cold blood
We are still-life in cold blood
We feel
We feel nothing

Stuffing corpses full of shit and pain
They bloviate about a future beyond the moon
To bring about another planet's doom
To discover peaceful life
And beat a war-drum to its tune
Unless my prayers are answered
And our end is coming soon

9:36 PM / 15 June

2008-06-15T21:41:00.002+08:00

Hammerhead by The Offspring

I am the one
Camouflage and guns
Risk my life
To keep my people from harm

Authority
Vested in me
I sacrifice
With my brothers in arms

Trough this doorway
What's on the other side
Never knowing
Exactly what I'll find
Locked and loaded
Voices screaming
Let's go!
Come on do it!
Here we go

Take a life
That others may live
Oh that's just the way it goes
It's playng over and over in my head
Where it'll end
Nobody knows

Take a life
That others may live
Oh that's just the way it goes
It's playng over and over in my head
Where it'll end
Nobody knows

Stay the course
Reasonable force
I believe I serve a greater good

Smoke and dust
Enemies are crushed
Nothing left
Where a man once stood

Trough this doorway
What's on the other side
Never knowing
Exactly what I'll find
Locked and loaded
Voices screaming
Let's go
But I'm just doing what I'm told

Take a life
That others may live
Oh that's just the way it goes
Shut my eyes
It hammers in my head
Where it'll end
Nobody knows

Take this life
That ten other may live
Oh that's just the way it goes
It's playing over and over in my head
Where it begins
And where it'll end
Nobody knows

Bang bang it hammers in my head
Bang bang it hammers in my head
Bang bang it hammers in my head
In my head
In my head

Yeah though I walk to the through the valley of the
shadow of death , I will fear no evil:
for Thou art with me

Locked and loaded
Gonna find my truth
Now I'm busting trough
All hell breaks loose

And you can all hide behind your desks now
And you can cry 'teacher come help me!'
Through you all
My aim is true

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12:56 AM / 12 June

2008-06-12T01:21:00.001+08:00

Man. Had a chilled out day today. Went to get my hair cut then went slacking with Kelvin. First we sent his guitar to the workshop to get it fixed together 'cause he blew out 3 soldering irons trying to re-model his guitar. Then went to CBTL Forum to slack. Ate the Chicken Lasagna which is this month's promo food. Then we sat down to discuss songs for our band to play. This is what we ended up with:

While picking out songs we decided to doodle. And the thing in the bottom left hand corner are plans for joining up Lisda's future Coffee House, my future restaurant and Kelvin's future pub and also trying to incorporate my future jamming studio in there.

But we still picked out some songs.

Hmmm... I wonder if Boxcar Racer was ever a pre-cursor to the existence of Angels & Airwaves. Anyway, I like this song a lot.

I Feel So by Boxcar Racer

Sometimes
I wish I was brave
I wish I was stronger
I wish I could feel no pain
I wish I was young
I wish I was shy
I wish I was honest
I wish I was you not I

'Cause
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callous
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over

Sometimes
I wish I was smart
I wish I made cures for
How people are
I wish I had power
I wish I could lead
I wish I could change the world
For you and me

'Cause
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callous
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over

'Cause
I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callous
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over

I feel so mad
I feel so angry
I feel so callous
So lost, confused, again
I feel so cheap
So used, unfaithful
Let's start over
Let's start over

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3:34 PM / 10 June

2008-06-10T16:05:00.002+08:00

Photos!!!

The Five of Us catching our breaths.

Still Catching our breaths

Getting ready to go again

Chill-axing under the shade.

EARTHQUAKE!!!!

The four of us...

Of contemplations and escaping to other nations (for a holiday that is)

Peace

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9:06 PM / 9 June

2008-06-09T21:30:00.001+08:00

Woah. I'm dead tired. Just came back from spending the day with Fadhil, Aqilah, Lisda and Nadhirah. First we went to East Coast Park in the morning to go cycling. That was actually quite fun. No long distances. 'Cause my previous bike ride was not really that enjoyable. But the short 2 hrs were actually quite fun. Breeze was blowing, sun was shining and the smell of the ocean just made things better. We didn't really go that far. We just went to one end and after that to the hawker centre place near the other end that's near the cable-boarding place. We sat there for a while before heading back to return the bikes.

We had quite a meaningful time together today. Wondering about the future and where our lives would end up. It's quite surreal at times. Like it was just yesterday we met. Like just the other day we went through the 'O's together. Never really thinking about the future. But as we edge closer, it kinda starts to dawn on us the gravity of our lives.

After that, we headed to Changi Airport for lunch. We decided to go to Swensen's. They had student lunch! Haha. Then Nadhirah said she wanted an Earthquake (as in the ice cream). Initially she wanted to pay for the Earthquake, but we flipped the script on her. We got it for her instead 'cause her birthday was not too long back. Haha.

I seriously wish I had some of the photos here so I could post them up. But it's all with Nadh and Fadh. So I have to wait.

I was thinking about the conversations we had today and about the different paths we take. Our aspirations all so unique. But yet all is so uncertain. It's scary as hell to think of failing 'cause once we are out there it's pretty much do or die. But it's good that I can still count on some people to help pull me through. That's why I have this song in mind. It's a cool slow song but there is substance to what it presents in its lyrics.

Duality by Bayside

Some days
I get crazed
I don't know why it's all relevant
I'll take deep breaths
And keep control, go on.

I've tried brave
And you've tried to save
I'm proud to keep it bottled up
I think I past my prime and lost my mind and I'm torn.

No telling what tomorrow holds.
Who let, who let this feeling die, when all I did was try?
Who let, you let this feeling die,
I can't get you out of my head, my head.
You're the flame that burns me so I know that I'm still alive.

Some say
It's all fate
but I say we control our lives
And if my destiny should outbest me then that's fine.
I make believe thrill and apathy co-exist in me fairly equally
The truth is doubts are all I've got to call mine.

No telling what tomorrow holds.
No telling what voice takes control.
Who let, who let this feeling die, when all I did was try?
Who let, you let this feeling die,
I can't get you out of my head, my head.
And you're the flame that burns me so I know that I'm still alive.

Is there anybody out there (out there)
Is anybody calling (anybody calling)
Woaahh, if what i say is really wrong
Is there anybody out there (out there)
Is anybody calling (anybody calling)
Woooah, if what you say is really wrong.
I'm not in control, I think I'm out of control

Who let, who let this feeling die, when all I did was try?
Who let, you let this feeling die,
I can't get you out of my head, my head.
And you're the flame that burns me so I know that I'm still alive.

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1:14 AM / 7 June

2008-06-07T01:16:00.001+08:00

Rise Up by blessthefall

Keep your eye focused this time, keep us in front of your sights,
I've waited long for this, now it's our time for bliss, I just hope we have the time.
I stand broken, please god hear my cries, he does everytime.

How many times have you watched me fall just to smile,
I've been through thick and thin we've struggled through now we smile,
so we're here now just be ready, brace yourself cause were not leaving.

Keep your eye focused this time, keep us in front of your sights,
I've waited long for this, our time to shine, I just hope we have the time.
I stand broken, please god hear my cries, he does everytime.

Help us get out, help us get out, out into the open,
Help us grow, Rise up rise up. [x4]

I stand broken, please god hear my cries, he does everytime. [x2]

Keep your eye focused this time, keep us in front of your sights,
I've waited long for this, now it's our time for bliss, I just hope we have the time.
I stand broken, please god hear my cries, he does everytime

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11:35 PM / 2 June

2008-06-02T23:38:00.001+08:00

Just Because You Sleep Next To Me (Doesn't Mean You're Safe) by Gallows

Pour some petrol
Through your letter box
Put all my memories
In an envelope
Then set it on fire
Then send it straight to you
When you get it
The least you could do
Is choke on the smoke
And let me breathe again
I know I never want to fucking see you again

I watched you burning
With the keys in my hand
You were screaming 'fucking let me go'
As you were turning black
The crowd go wild
And they signal applause
Well done for getting this far
Don't expect an encore when you
Choke on the smoke
Let me breathe again
Because I know I never want to fucking see you again

Goodnight sweetheart
Can you hear what I say?
I broke both your legs
You broke my heart today
You're lying in this bed
With your eyes tight shut
I'm lying next to you
Thank god I just woke up

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2:56 AM / 31 May

2008-05-31T03:27:00.002+08:00

Damn. Cancer Bats are really getting me back into listening to hardcore punk. Their energy is just crazy. It's just freaking infectious. I actually caught myself head-banging in public. Like one of those kind of "shiok-sendiri" moments. I bet I looked like a dickhead. Especially since it was in the MRT.

Cancer Bats are probably my favorite current hardcore band next to Gallows. I mean nothing can beat Gallows. They are just pure aggression in your face. Just balls out crazy. I mean just check out this song and the lyrics. Just intense man.

Orchestra of Wolves by Gallows

My name is Casanova
I'm basically a man
I have the head of a wolf
The appetite of an entire land
This song is going out to the girls
You're all looking fucking fine
Baby spread those shaking legs
Because I'm feeling fucking hungry tonight
I like to feed on broken hearts
There ain't no taste like lovers falling apart

If i offer to buy you a drink
Trust me when i say it's non-alcoholic
You're no good to me if you can't even speak
I don't want you passing out i want you sucking my dick
If i offer to buy you a drink
Trust me when i say it's non-alcoholic
I want you to wake up and remember my name
When you're washing my cum off your fucking face

My name is casanova
I'm basically a man
I have the head of a wolf
The appetite of an entire land
This song is going out to the girls
You're all looking well buff
I'm sick of all this long term shit
I just wanna fuck

My name is casanova
I'm nothing but a beast
Baby the way you're shaking those hips
Has got me ready for a fucking feast
This song is going out to the girls
I want to feel your body close against mine
Why waste time with conversation
When we can fuck for the rest of our lives

The hardest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return

So back to Cancer Bats. I realize quite a large number of the bands I listen to are Canadian bands. And this is a good thing. I mean there's Alexisonfire, Comeback Kid and now Cancer Bats. Cancer Bats actually toured a lot with Alexisonfire previously.

Cancer Bats, from what I've heard, are just in your face grinding, pounding hardcore. And they have awesome riffs. Just like how Gallows incorporate a lot of classic rock into their music, Cancer Bats have quite a distinct guitar styling. Sounds a lot like Pantera might I say. And I think that Kerrang! might have gotten it a bit off 'cause I read in one of their reviews and they called it metalcore. I guess the Pantera-ish riffing may give it that metal tinge, but this is straight-up hardcore punk. Their newest vid was Hail Destroyer which I already posted. So I'll post up a couple of vids from their first album.

French Immersion by Cancer Bats

Let’s do this, yeah, this reckless life, 1234
Chances all, written off, write our own, prevail
This blood we drink, in our hearts
This blood we drink, forever
Take back the bonds that break us
Take back the oaths we swear
Take back to make things right
Young hearts be free tonight
And what we’ve got
This is our ammunition
And what we’ve got
This is our ammunition
Let’s do this, yeah, this reckless life, making amends
Chance is ours, start a new, don’t look back, prevail
This blood we drink, in our lungs
This blood we drink, forever
Take back the bonds that break us
Take back the oaths we swear
Take back to make things right
Young hearts be free tonight
And what we’ve got
This is our ammunition
And what we’ve got
This is our ammunition
Let’s do this, yeah, this reckless way, yeah

Pneumonia Hawk by Cancer Bats(feat. George Pettit from Alexisonfire)

Good goddamn , I've got things to say
And this will break your heart
If you're running shit
I'm running scared, running scared
I'm feeling low, in this city
I'm feeling low, in this town
It comes down to this, this one
This place is hell on earth
This place is the worst
Good goddamn have I got things to say
And this will break you're heart
If you're running shit
I'm running scared, running scared
I'm feeling low, in this city
I'm feeling low, in this town
Waste time for this, this one
Waste time for this, this one
Alright, we won't get no younger
Alright, we won't waste no time
Oh this place is heaven I think
Oh this place is
Alright, we won't get no younger
Alright, we won't waste no time
Oh this place is heaven I think
Oh this place is
All this, this one thing, wasting my time
All this, this one thing, wasting my time

3:00 AM / 28 May

2008-05-28T03:36:00.001+08:00

So, my band is joining Bandzout in NYP. Wonder how it'll go considering that we only got started quite recently. I wonder if Kelvin has sent in the form.

We're calling ourselves 'Of suicides and silver lines'. Kinda weird considering the places my head has been in the past few weeks.

Now we need to figure out what to play both for the auditions and the final (if we make it that far). I need to take a few things into consideration. One main thing is our ability as a band. So more technical songs are out of the question. This is further stressed by the fact that we have only around 4 weeks to prepare. So I'm gonna go for songs with more meaning. Those with a proper message that can relate to our views and experiences. Those that we can really sing full on with all our heart. (And why does it seem that at the exact moment I wrote that, my fringe started to go over my eye?)

So I'm looking through my library of songs to see what we could play. Here's what I got:

-Lycanthrope by (+44)
-911 For Peace by Anti-Flag
-Got The Numbers by Anti-Flag
-No Future by Anti-Flag
-Go by Blink-182
-I Feel So by Boxcar Racer
-Secret Weapon by MxPx
-Empty Walls by Serj Tankian
-Umbrella(Cover Version) by Vanilla Sky
-Give It All by Rise Against
-Like Trumpets by With Honor (This song is gonna be hard considering that I can't find the tabs)

That's my shortlist, but there are a few songs that I really wish we could perform for Bandzout but I know that it'll be too much to ask in such a short time or it would not be allowed on stage. But here's a list that I just thought I should give.

-Blindfolds Aside by Protest The Hero (With us actually performing it blindfolded)
-Blackhawks Over Los Angeles by Srung Out
-This Could Be Anywhere In The World by Alexisonfire
-Underground Network by Anti-Flag
-Brianstorm by Arctic Monkeys
-Shockwave by Black Tide
-Rise Up by blessthefall
-Take It Out On Me by Bullet For My Valentine
-Hail Destroyer by Cancer Bats
-Feathers by Coheed & Cambria
-Lorelei by Comeback Kid
-Holy Diver by Dio (Or the KsE version)
-Orchestra of Wolves by Gallows
-Vela, Together We Await The Storm by The Human Abstract
-A Farewell To Arms by Machine Head
-All Downhill From Here by New Found Glory
-Five Months by Parkway Drive
-Sleepers by Saosin
-Forever by Throwdown
-Pull Harder on The Strings of Your Martyr by Trivium

10:16 PM / 26 May

2008-05-26T22:19:00.000+08:00

Hail Destroyer by Cancer Bats

Tear us down.
Welcome destruction with open arms.
It’s all too static. Bring it on, bring it on.
Routine’s so boring it makes me scream. Tear us down. Just tear us down.
When fate just pushes us along.
Children of nothing, this is our song.
Hail destroyer. Hail destroyer. Hail destroyer. We’re rising up from ashes.
Erase the comfort, erase the crutch
When given nothing we appreciate so much
A wake up call. You just want to scream. Tear us down. Just tear us down.
On our own terms of right and wrong.
Children of nothing, this is our song.
Hail destroyer. Hail destroyer. Hail destroyer. We’re rising up from ashes.
Hail destroyer. Hail destroyer. Hail destroyer. Our lives begin when we fall down.
Keep me incomplete.
Keep it corroded the rust, the dust.
Keep me incomplete
All sense of order can self destruct.
Keep me incomplete
Reduced to rubble and time to shine.
Keep me incomplete
Tear us down and carry on.
Children of nothing, this is our song.
Hail destroyer. Hail destroyer. Hail destroyer. We’re rising up from ashes.
Hail destroyer. Hail destroyer. Hail destroyer. Our lives begin when we fall down.

12:34 AM / 20 May

2008-05-20T03:13:00.000+08:00

I've stared here for quite a while wondering what I should write. It's not a case of not knowing what to write. It's a case of not knowing how to my feelings into words. This weekend was pretty much the toughest one of my life. Not that I had to do anything much. It's just that reality hit me. It hit me hard. I didn't have the home I once had. I was never going back to my old home. I was never going to go back to the routines I used to have. The daydreams on the bus rides. The thoughts as I look out my window giving my tired eyes a rest. The sound of my stray cat asking me for food. The sound of people walking by. Going to school or to the market. The wind blowing through my house. The fact that I had a room. Or just a house that I called my own. My own. Not my grandfather's. Not my brother's my own.

My dad says it's a sacrifice we have to take. But how much of a sacrifice is it until it kills you? Until there's nothing more to give. Home is a sacred place. It's the only place where you are made to feel safe. I have nothing against my grandad's place. This place has history. But my memories are not here. They are in my old home.

I guess that really hit me. I woke up not to the sound of the cleaner raking the leaves outside of my window but to the awkward sound of silence. That loss of familiarity just pushed me over the edge. I almost lost it. I have to say, I almost lost myself this weekend. I almost threw myself to the wolves.

In Not Now.Not Never I say "I am a lot of things and a lot of things I am not". And one of those things I am not is emotionally strong. A lot of times, my emotions consume me. And I guess having to break all my routines for this really took it's toll.

There are a lot of people I want to meet. And among those people is my late grandmother on my mother's side. I never met her before. She died shortly before my birth. Which is why I want to meet her. The fact that I never knew her yet I'm tied so closely to her means a lot to me.

They say every dark cloud has it's silver lining. I always look for that every time a rain cloud passes by. And somehow, I have yet to see one. I guess that it doesn't come around too often. Yet somehow I hold on to that thought. I have to trust that there's a silver lining for me. Or else I wouldn't have thrown myself to the wolves.

That's why now, even though I will have Not Now.Not Never in the back of my head, I need something new to push me forward. Something that makes me relish the opportunity to live. I'm not insane. I'm just being me. That's why from now on, until the near future at least, I'll be thinking of silver lines and suicides.

12:16 AM / 16 May

2008-05-16T00:25:00.000+08:00

ARGH.

That pretty much sums up everything that I can think of at the moment. I have barely kicked into school mode and I'm already getting hit left and right with deadlines and tests.

I just realized that I need to make 4 websites for this semester. 1 is an Enterprise project. Another is a J2EE based blog. And the other 2 are websites for Business projects.

And it's even harder considering the fact that I can't leave my laptop on 24/7 or else it'll get marauded by my brother's cats when I leave it alone. And I'll be using Microsoft's Visual Studio, IBM's Rational Software Architect and not to mention Macromedia's Dreamweaver for the sites. Which means more slowness for my computer.

ARGH.

Someone save me.

Or even better, someone help the people in Myanmar and China.

Some punk to get the blood running.

Got The Numbers by Anti-Flag

You push and push a people, what are they to do?
Soon this corporate run government will be through
See, it doesn't represent the people anymore
Big business are the pimps and governments' their whores
We don't need more time to talk over a solution
We know what we need, we need a fucking revolution

We don't need your war machine, or your filthy blood stained dollars
We’ve got one thing you ain’t got
We’ve got, we've got, we've got... got the numbers!

To you the masses are not even human beings
We’re dogs that will be grateful for any scraps you leave
But even dogs will only put up with so much abuse
Keep stealing from us like you are we're gonna let loose
We don't need more time to talk over a solution
We know what we need, we need a fucking revolution

We don't need your war machine, or your filthy blood stained dollars
We’ve got one thing you don't have
We’ve got, we've got, we've got... got the numbers!
We’ve got...we have... we've got the numbers!

We don't need more time to talk over a solution
We know what we need, we need a fucking revolution!!!

We don't need your war machine, or your filthy blood stained dollars
We’ve got one thing you ain’t got
We’ve got, we've got, we've got... got the numbers!

3:18 AM /10 May

2008-05-10T04:02:00.000+08:00

Hmm. What to talk about. Nothing much in my head recently. Life's been pretty mundane since I moved to my brother's place. It's kinda fun having to sleep in the living room with 5 cats. And I also have the TV to myself at nights. That's fun.

I guess a semblance of normality is back. I'm back to my routines. Though I haven't quite gotten my sleep cycle back. I was pretty much late for class everyday this week. I have to start focusing. Argh. I can't lose the plot so late in the game. The last place I need to be after NS is nowhere.

Thank God the rain is back. The heat was just killing me. I mean there were times where I was sweating before I could even get out of the house.

I'm just putting random thoughts together at this point. I guess another thing that I haven't gotten back is my usual thought cycle. I haven't been daydreaming that much anymore. I used to daydream a lot. Not in the bad way. It's what I call random contemplation. It's how I get my weird thoughts and also how I write stuff. It's kinda like being high on weed.

Since I ain't got no thought to jot I might as well post a video.

Who says a metal song can't be a love song.

The End Of Heartache by Killswitch Engage

Seek me,
Call me,
I'll be waiting

Seek me,
Call me,
I'll be waiting

This distance,
This dissolution
I cling to memories while falling
Sleep brings release,
And the hope of a new day
Waking the misery of being without you

Surrender, I give in
Another moment is another eternity

(Seek me) For comfort,
(Call me) For solace
(I'll be waiting here) For the end of my broken heart
(Seek me) Completion,
(Call me) I'll be waiting
(I'll be waiting here) For the end of my broken heart

You know me, you know me all too well
My only desire - to bridge our division

In sorrow I speak your name
And my voice mirrors, mirrors my torment

(Seek me) For comfort,
(Call me) For solace
(I'll be waiting here) For the end of my broken heart
(Seek me) Completion,
(Call me) I'll be waiting
(I'll be waiting here) For the end of my broken heart

Am I breathing?
My strength fails me
Your picture, a bitter memory

For comfort,
For solace

(Seek me) For comfort,
(Call me) For solace
(I'll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart

1:30 AM / 3 May

2008-05-03T01:47:00.001+08:00

So here I am. At my brother's place. Crashing here for the next few days. Have to put the crashing-at-my-grandad's place on hold for now as my uncle and cousin from KL are there. Most probably be moving next week. Managed to get like 90% of the stuff out. I still have alot of my clothes and books to bring.

I'm really kinda sad at the way that I have to leave that place. Mainly due to the fact that it wasn't on my on terms. We got forced out. I guess that happens. Especially when you get ignorant to certain facts. I would really have loved to stay there for longer. It's a great place. Though there are definitely the cons. But it's still a good place. And I had great plans for that place too. Inheriting my brother's room, I managed to gain a steady collection of posters that I wanted to plaster the walls with. But I had to bring them down. Just as it seemed to take shape. Oh well. I just have to make sure nothing happens to them.

And I realized I have a lot of stuff. Let's see there was:

- 5 bags of clothes + 1 additional box of clothes
- 2-3(I lost count) boxes of books.
- My collection of tags and stickers that I plastered my table with
- My collection of cards
- My collection of posters
- My collection of magazines
- My collection of toys and stuffed animals from my childhood
- My brother's Coca-Cola collection. Or part of it.
- My current set of stuff for this semester.
- 2 computer tables
- 1 laptop and 1 desktop PC
- 7 pairs of shoes
- 6 bags (5 of which I filled up with my clothes)
- My CDs
- and my guitar

There you go. All the stuff in my room. Or just stuff that naturally had me associated to it. Now I need to figure out how to connect my laptop to my brother's router.

You know how they say that 'Home is where the heart is'? Well in my case I kinda have the feeling that it's more of 'My heart will always be where my home is'.

1:42 AM / 29 April

2008-04-29T01:45:00.002+08:00

Another great act from the second season of Britain's Got Talent. This guy is called Suleman Mirza.

I seriously think that Britain's Got Talent offers so much more that America's Got Talent. True that the American version was a spin-off of the initial British version but still. Normally one would expect more from America, but it just goes to show the diversity that Britain has to offer as opposed to America.

9:37 PM / 27 April

2008-04-27T21:56:00.000+08:00

Damn. I'm tired and bored. Argh.

I still got proposals to do. Stuff to study for and tutorials to read through. Not to mention that there's still work.

Boneyards by Parkway Drive

These are the sentiments
Of cold-blooded cynic
So believe me when I say
I would love nothing more
Then for everything
To end in unpleasantly
Concrete shoes, rising tides, grey skies, let none survive
Don't say I didn't warn you
I would rather see your face in hell
Than speak another word of this perfect world
I would rather see your face in hell
Than speak another word of this perfect world
Oh
Of this perfect world
Oh to be buried
Beneath the waves
A sailors grave, it's all I crave
Bury me, bury me
5000 fathoms deep
I leave my bones for the depths
The sharpest teeth await our skin
The sharpest teeth await
Bloodlust swarms upon our worthless existence
The devils teeth, the devils teeth beneath our skin
Whispering of silent silent vengeance
Blood debts remain unpaid
Now every breathe of life has been betrayed
Every ideal has through
Nothing we hold brings solace
(Feed us to the sharks)
So let nothing remain
(Feed us to the sea)
To be buried
Beneath the waves
A sailors grave, it's all I crave
Bury me, so bury me
5000 fathoms deep
And leave bones for the depths
There's blood in the water
Sinking, always sinking
There's blood in the water
I would rather see your face in hell
Then speak another word of this perfect fucking world

The Deepest Gray by All That Remains

Could blood not be so sweet or flow enough to sustain
Two hundred nine tomorrow's rise and I'm alone again
Please not this way so sweet on my tongue it burns away
An empty promise fills my veins with lies

The deepest gray forever lives inside of me
But I am not afraid for I have lived this agony

And time ticks slowly forward towards the break of day
Five seven nine arrival more fuel for disarray
But be still my tongue for I know not what I say
My life is lived in darkness and here I'll remain

And so the night wears on
And so my patience thins
I now walk through this fire
To purify the sins

And so the night wears on and so my patience thins
To my eyes dawn in horror cause I'm alone again

9:21 AM / 25 April

2008-04-25T09:23:00.000+08:00

Eat your heart out Michael Jackson. Haha. The follow-up to Hearts Burst Into Fire. That song actually medley's with Waking The Demon. Hope youtube doesn't pull down the video since I can't embed the one from bullettv.

Waking The Demon by Bullet For My Valentine

Helpless,
My eyes are bleeding from the fear that's inside,
You sealed your demise,
When you took what was mine,
Don't try and stop me from avenging this world,
No voice to be heard!

Waking The Demon,
Where'd you run to?
Walking in shadows,
Watch the blood flow,
There's not much longer, so don't try and fight,
Your bodies weakining, Walk to the light,
Those painful times, so alone so ashamed,
I'm not coming back, there's nothing to gain

Caution there's just no limits to the boundaries you push
I've warned you but still you fuck with my mind
There's no escape from this rage that I feel
Nothing is real

Waking The Demon,
Where'd you run to?
Walking in shadows,
Watch the blood flow,
There's not much longer, so don't try and fight,
Your bodies weakining, Walk to the light,
Those painful times, so alone so ashamed,
I'm not coming back, there's nothing to gain

Breathe for me
Don't wake me from this slumber.
Stay With me
Possession taking over

NOOOOO!!
Tread!

Breathe for me
Don't wake me from this slumber.
Stay With me
Possession taking over

Waking The Demon!

2:15 AM / 23 April

2008-04-23T02:48:00.000+08:00

I've been catching a few of the acts for the second season of Britain's Got Talent which started recently. This was one of the few acts which really blew me away. I never expected it out of this kid. He's only 13 and he's getting bullied 'cause of the way he sings. And his confidence was almost totally non-existent yet somehow he pulled it off. Granted the effect was much greater as no one expected him to sing like that. But still this kid's got skill. Check it out.

And here's another act that I think can win the competition.

3:17 AM / 20 April

2008-04-20T03:27:00.000+08:00

Oh my God. I just came back from working for 14 hours straight. The gourmet auntie was sick so I had to cover for her. So instead of working from 12-8pm, I had to work until 2am. Owned. Now I feel damn shagged. And I still have to go somewhere else later today.

Again I do not know what else to post so I shall just put up this older Alexisonfire video.

Counterparts and Number Them by Alexisonfire

Jennifer,
They lied to you.
When they said you couldn't breathe underwater.
(So here it is, the end is near)
I lied, too, when I said that I was hard.
(Never would've thought this might be something you'd so easily discard)
I'm soft...
Softer...
(Now I see it all so clear)
Than a...
(So it seems that when you turned away, you...)
Thrift store...
(Left...)
Thrift store...
(A scar)
Thrift store...
Sweater.
Twice as worn in.
Twice as worn in.

I was cast away once,
But I will be found again.
This I promise you.
Promise you.

12:08 AM / 19 April

2008-04-18T00:16:00.000+08:00

So many things to do, so little time (and money).

I found this while looking through the files in all my portable drives. I think I wrote this way last year. Or even 2 years ago. The date modified shows the year 2006. Woah. That's old. I wrote this during the point in time where I had a lot of metalcore flowing through my ears, if I'm not mistaken. I don't even know if I've posted it up before.

Echoes of an Addicted Fool

YOU!!
Took me in and spat me out
Turned your back against
The only one you ever knew

YOU!!
Destroyed from within
Took all that I had
And threw it all away

Pre-chorus:
What I feel can't be real
What I see can't be true
This thoughts they eat at me
This body needs you

Chorus:
Look into my eyes
See the pain I feel
Look into my mind
Feel this torture within
All that I am is gone
Lost in thoughts of you
From deep down inside
This pain will echo through

YOU!!
Were everything I ever wanted
All that I need
I found in you

You!!
Are all that I hate
The poison that kills
The evil that is you

(Pre-Chorus)

(Chorus)

Bridge:
Now, I stand here shivering
Addicted to the thought of you
Feelings of total disconnection
Yet my body still longs for you

(Pre-Chorus)

(Chorus)

I didn't know what else to post here. So I thought I'd just post this.

Raining Blood(Live) by Slayer

9:15 PM / 17 April

2008-04-17T21:34:00.000+08:00

I just realized something. We were never really going to programme a Google App. I kinda thought we were since we had to sign up for an account with NYP's Google App site. But I totally forgot the aim of the Google App Sites. They were more of a way to connect between separate entities in an organization and school and it aims to aid in the process of sharing information. Or something by th like of that. So my semester-long project is again another open-ended project. I do not know what to do for the project. Still unsure of the objectives and deliverables. Argh. Thank God for once I am not the leader. But I'll help.

I went to watch Hottie & The Nottie during my 4-hour break just now. It was kinda predictable but it did have Paris Hilton in it. Though I couldn't really see much of her considering how darn bloody skinny she is. My class initially wanted to watch The Forbidden Kingdom. They had the screening time and everything. But they failed to realize that the movie is released tomorrow. So yeah. I felt like I kinda wasted my 6 bucks.

I start school at 3 tomorrow! Haha. And it's not by virtue of cancelled classes. It's just how messed up my timetable is.

I've had this song on my head a lot recently. I guess it's quite a cool song. Too bad the lead guitarist left the band to pursue his life in classical music. But still it's a cool song. And a cool video at that. And a tiny bit anti-politic

Vela, Together We Await The Storm by The Human Abstract

A story without a name.
A desert journey that we became.
Another test of our power overcoming on a black day.
Appalling how they're running for the honor like a campaign.
To be the leaders of a phony dead scene in a magazine.
I always figured there was something more.

Gone, so many friends and lovers
So far, nothing to show in turn

They'll take it all back,
All those empty words.
I'll show the dregs
Where all their slander has led.
If it takes my whole life,
For all the tears that i have shed

They'll take it back,
I'm making a pact.
They'll take it back,
I'm making a promise.
I'm eager to the task,
Exposing all who wear a mask.

It must be done.

The storm yet to come binds us at one
Through it all,
Loneliness and adversity,
Failure and injustices only guide us on our way
So pray, you won't be finding a faker
Nor will an opportune moment arise

6:46 PM / 15 April

2008-04-15T18:51:00.000+08:00

School's out. For today it was at least. Kinda trademark first week of school. A lot of classes cancelled. It kinda helps with easing into the tornado of schoolwork awaiting us. So I decided to sleep in today. The rain kinda helped in that aspect. So all my errands are gonna get pushed until tomorrow I guess.

I kinda realized why Comeback Kid is performing at Braddell Heights CC. I forgot how crazy hardcore gigs can get and I guess that's the only place where they can contain such chaos.

Wake The Dead (Live) by Comeback Kid

6:57 PM / 14 April

2008-04-14T19:16:00.000+08:00

Oh damn. I just came back from school. What a drag that was. This semester is gonna have a super weird feeling to it. I got 2 semester long projects this time round. One is the usual IT programming project. The other one is an entrepreneurship project. I have to formulate a business plan for the next 15 weeks and at the end of that I have to present it to a panel of industry professionals. Argh. That's gonna be tough. I miss simpler Business modules like International Business that deal with everyday issues which have a major impact on economies. I like doing those type of analysis. And the tutorials for those types of modules are fun 'cause there is usually active interaction and not just passive understanding. I guess that's poly life for you. You get some, you lose some.

I thought I'd post this up since I'm in a Silverstein shirt. Lame. I know. This song has a bit of meaning for me. So yeah. Don't ask.

Still Dreaming by Silverstein

Today, I lie down deep in slumber.
Feelings are falling downward.
I want to forget.
Waking up, I hear the way your voice sounds.
My heart starts to pound, now...
To the rhythm of yours.
You're so angelic. Your words so symphonic.
Attach your lips to my soul, eat this sorrow away.
How am I so lucky, I found you?

Sometimes, I feel like I'm still dreaming.
It seems like everyday, you're always on my mind.
This is how we stay so connected over space and time.

When we talk about all my old drama,
You look at me and wonder how I'm not insane.
Every week the days seem to get longer.
But you know our love gets stronger with every word we say.
Stronger every day.
You know I would do anything for you.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm still dreaming.
It seems like everyday, you're always on my mind.
This is how we stay so connected over space and time.

If you are feeling down, you know I feel it, now.
We give each other strength to make it through the darkness.
You take me to a place I never want to leave.
I'm in my deepest dream, I don't ever want to wake up.
I'll fight till I die, I won't say goodbye, and I won't let this pass me by.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm still dreaming.
It seems like everyday, you're always on my mind.
This is how we stay so connected over space and time.

Let's run away,
Let's go away to some place safe.
I want it all, I want everything.

11:10 PM / 12 April

2008-04-12T23:30:00.000+08:00

Just came back from jamming today. It was quite fun even though I turned up 30 minutes late. I got some of the timing issues down. All that needs to be done now is to actually memorize the song and how it's supposed to go. Not to just listen to it. I realize it's different. Especially if you do not listen to a song that much. And we need a better bassist. Or at least a more dedicated one.

And I just realized today that Comeback Kid are performing in Singapore. And in of all locations, it's at Braddell Heights Community Club. I was like thinking, 'Couldn't have they chosen a better location?' I understand the feel of most hardcore shows, especially with a band like Comeback Kid, but wouldn't like say a place in a more central area be better? Or even a more well known and accessible place? Well, I'm contemplating whether to go or not. It's 55 bucks at the door. The gig is on the 25th. It might clash with school. I dunno.

I just discovered another so-called sub-section of hardcore that kinda falls under the straightedge thing. It's called posi-hardcore. Posi in this case is short for positive or positive thinking. I learned about it after coming across this band called With Honor. I kinda liked the sound of their song "Like Trumpets" and went to check out their scene. The scene focuses on having a positive outlook on life and being pro-active in life. It sounds cheesy at first. But the music actually makes quite a lot of sense. So yeah. Here's the vid.

Like Trumpets by With Honor

Enough pictures drawn in the sand,
Of everything we wish we'd been,
Just to watch them wash out when the waters rise.

Enough careless talk about giving up,
Complaining of the things we haven't got,
Why can't we stand up to the test of time?

No more, No less than all we are, all we have,
No more holding back.
So far, we've only made a scratch, knives out,
No more holding back.
We'll drag our heels on cold concrete
until it's four feet wide and six feet deep,
To forget our regrets and yesterdays.

Enough careless talk about giving up,
Complaining of the things we haven't got,
Why can't we stand up to the test of time?

No more, No less than all we are, all we have,
No more holding back.
So far, we've only made a scratch, knives out,
No more holding back.

I want to cut, cut the binds,
It's not the scissors that are dull.
It's our minds, It's our apathy and shallow goals entwined.
It's all or nothing, kiss yesterday goodbye.

No more, No less than all we are, all we have,
No more holding back.
So far, we've only made a scratch, knives out,
No more holding back.
It's all or nothing, kiss yesterday goodbye.
It's all or nothing, kiss yesterday goodbye.
It's all or nothing, kiss yesterday goodbye.
It's all or nothing, kiss yesterday goodbye.

12:37 AM / 12 April

2008-04-12T00:56:00.001+08:00

Just came back from a bbq with PBMA. Man, I wished it never ended. Just spending time with close friends really reminded me a lot about secondary school life. I mean we guys are tight man. It's really as if we were siblings. That's how I view it. I'd put myself on the line for anyone of them anytime. I guess it always puts things into perspective. Things are never forever. Not that that's bad or anything but I kinda regret at times not really trying to remember all the stuff that happened. I'm gonna be a very boring dad when my future kids ask me what I used to do in school. I'd just tell them I didn't remember. 'Cause it's pretty much been a blur. I guess it's kinda leaves me wanting more. That's why I always say I don't wanna go home. I'm kinda afraid of not having enough memories for the future. I guess I'll just have to keep an eye out for the future and what it brings me.

I'm going jamming tomorrow. Hope it turns out well. I seem to have a problem. I can always get the drumming patterns in my head when I'm at home. But in the studio it's just different. I tend to forget rolls and transitions. I think I need my own drum set. I hope I can get one once I move to my granddad's place.

I just reviewed the lyrics for this song and I finally understood the meaning behind it. I guess it just didn't register the first time I bought the CD and listened to this song. See if you guys can figure it out.

Go by Blink 182

Are we all victims of opportunity,
Locked outside the door back in '83,
I heard the angry voice of the man inside,
put the look of fear in my mother's eyes.

Go! Go! Go! Go!
I don't wanna know (Go! Go!)
I don't wanna know (Go!, Go!).

Mom get in the car and let's drive away,
She said "I'm sorry Mark but there's nowhere to stay",
Gave up all her hope and went back inside,
Hid her broken heart and let the engine die.

Go! Go! Go! Go!,
I don't wanna know (Go! Go!),
I don't wanna know (Go! Go!).

Why do evil men get away with it?
Can't you see that I'm in a world of shit?
turn your back on hope and go back inside,
Stop my bleeding heart and let the engine die.

I don't wanna know,
I don't wanna know,
I don't wanna know,
I don't wanna know.

(Go Go)I don't wanna know,
(Go Go)I don't wanna know,
(Go Go)I don't wanna know,
(GO Go)I don't wanna know.

6:16 PM / 8 April

2008-04-08T18:27:00.000+08:00

Man. I really wish I can go to the Warped Tour. I've heard the past 3 years' worth of Warped Tour compilations and every year without fail I get hooked onto amazing bands which I hear for the first time. There's Protest the Hero, Vanna, I Am Ghost and more. And the thing about the Warped Tour is that it's not just your average festival, it's a very long tour. And the number of bands on tour kinda blow me away. If I'm not mistaken, this year's tour has about 100 bands booked. So yeah. It's got great variety and it amazingly it does not consist of only punk bands. There are metalcore acts, a lot of post-hardcore and emo acts. So you pretty much do not get bored of the music there. Here are some of my new favourite bands thanks to the Warped Tour compilation I bought.

Mea Culpa by The Human Abstract

Calling by Strung Out

Our Friend Lazarus Sleeps by I Am Ghost

5:41 PM / 4 April

2008-04-04T18:33:00.000+08:00

I don't know what to talk about today so I decided to just put up some old music videos.

Run To The Hills by Iron Maiden

Iron Man by Black Sabbath (These are the pioneers)

Blitzkrieg Bop by The Ramones

7:50 PM / 30 March

2008-03-30T20:31:00.000+08:00

Damn. Talk about dedication. 4 weeks. That's how long I had to wait for HMV to bring in a copy of Protest The Hero's latest album called "Fortress". And I still had to pay 32 bucks on top of that. Well, I guess that shows how much I love this band.

They are really not your typical musical ensemble, if that made any sense at all. They are highly technical in their playing and they blend together perfectly. They do not bind themselves to any particular genre (mainly because it is very hard to classify them) and they do not restrict themselves to usual musical standards. Crazy tempo changes, uneven bars, multiple riffs and all the likes.

But one thing that really stands out about the band for me is how much meaning there is behind their music. Like their first major release "Kezia" which was a concept album influenced by the works of Fyodor Dostoevsky. It's mainly about a girl named Kezia who is to be executed. "Fortress" on the other hand is derived from a less fictional base. It takes it's lead from the time of Genghis Khan and references mainly to the concept of goddess worship which was prominent in that age.

So yeah. There is a lot of thought that goes into their music. And the fact that their subject matter is totally different from what most musicians release is why I like their music so much. I guess mainly it's because I tend to daydream while I listen to my music and the topics they speak about just helps the process.

Bloodmeat by Protest The Hero

Enemies of Khanate strung on hooks like pigs to slaughter
Heads will roll, throats will be slit
And blood will flow like springs of water
To the rivers red, across the ochre steppe

A thousand fathers killed,
A thousand virgin daughters spread with swords still wet,
With the blood of their dead

Nurjan is upon us, he kills in silence after prayers
Genghis Khan is upon us and he slays his betrayers

Thus still the fools of God will guard the city of our birth
Hold an ear to the ground
To hear the sound of
Clamoring and horses stammer as their gallop meets the earth

A thousand fathers killed,
A thousand virgin daughters spread with swords still wet,
With the blood of their dead

Tomorrow they will find us
Hide the children free of sin
We will meet their blades by morning
Protected only by your skin

Tomorrow we will find them
Seek the youngest of their kin
And we will beat them with our fury
And we will crush them all like vermin

4:04 PM / 28 March

2008-03-28T16:37:00.000+08:00

6 Random Things About Me

i.) I'm a Virgo

ii.) I'll be moving to my granddad's place in May

iii.) I tend to contemplate a lot about life. Especially the darker aspects. Things which have more impact on us than it may seem.

iv.) I wanna write down everything I think about but that seems a bit weird to me so I choose not to do it. I end up only remembering a few line and phrases that I associate with certain events. (i.e. A lot of my creativity wasted). If I'm lucky, I'll get ideas while at the computer and I'll type them out. This rarely happens though.

v.) I wanna write a book. Or at least a story so to speak. I've had the idea in my head for about a year. I always tell myself at the start of the holidays that I shall use the time to write it. But so far all I've done is write the story out in my head. I need motivation to start doing it. It's going to be about a prophecised apocalypse, set during World War III, 2 years after the last reserves of oil are used up and how Man is willing to believe anything while in their darkest hour.

vi.) The song that I wrote entitled "For You" that I placed in my previous post was inspired by Boxcar Racer's "There Is". I wrote it based on the melody and not the topic which the song talks about.

There Is by Boxcar Racer

This vacation's useless
These white pills aren't kind
I've given a lot of thought on this 13-hour drive
I miss the grinding concrete where we sat past 8 or 9
And slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights
I've given a lot of thought to the nights we use to have
The days have come and gone
Our lives went by so fast
I faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor
Where i laid and told you, but you sweared you loved me more

Do you care if i don't know what to say
Will you sleep tonight, will you think of me
Will i shake this off pretend its all okay
That there someone out there who feels just like me
There is

Those notes you wrote me
I've kept them all
I've given a lot of thought of how to write you back this fall
With every single letter in every single word
There will be a hidden message about a boy that
loves a girl

Do you care if i don't know what to say
Will you sleep tonight, will you think of me
Will i shake this off, pretend its all okay
that There's someone out there who feels just like me
There is

Do you care if i don't know what to say?
Will you sleep tonight, will you think of me
Will i shake this off, pretend its all okay
That there's someone out there who feels just like me

Do you care if i don't know what to say?
Will you sleep tonight, will you think of me
Will i shake this off, pretend its all okay
That there's someone out there who feels just like me
There is

1:35 PM / 25 March

2008-03-25T13:37:00.001+08:00

A little something I wrote. It's a song, not a poem. Almost feels like one though.

For You

I, look up into the sky
As I, sit here and wonder why
Did this world pass us by
Can't you see the tears
Flowing from our eyes

My life, living in disguise
As I, sit here and wonder why
What happened to yesterday
Will we stay as one
Will it be ok

Will we inherit all
The sins of a generation
Will we be forced
To save a decaying nation

For you

But as time moves on
We'll give hope a chance
Maybe we'll live to have
Our very last dance

But as hope goes on
And time wears thin
Can we stay for long
And try to bury their sins

For you

She's, with a tear in her eyes
As she, sits there and wonders why
Was there a point to all of this
What did we do
To deserve this poisoned kiss

If we're left alone
With all your problems
Can we save this ship
From your destruction

Will we inherit all
The sins of your generation
What must be done
To save a decaying nation

For you

But as time moves on
We'll give hope a chance
Maybe We'll live to have
Our very last dance

But as hope goes on
And time wears thin
Can we stay for long
And try to bury their sins

For you

So in this last declaration
I'll make my stand
Just for you
This is our last salvation
Our hopes now rest
In our nation of youth

5:58 AM / 21 March

2008-03-21T06:32:00.000+08:00

LED ASTRAY by FREAQ

5 years on and it's still not over.
Have you forgotten why you started this war?
Was it for peace or liberty?
Or did you want something more?

Blood of the innocent is spilled everyday.
Can't you see that he's just taking lives?
Taking them away.
With democracy the disguise.

Do you wonder why the economy is doing so bad?
275 million dollars a day
Wouldn't that make you mad?

I say that war is the justifiable product of peace
But maybe I was wrong
What is it that it seeks to spill more of?
The blood or the oil?

Men sent into battle
Their courage I respect
Though led by the cowardice
Of a questionable redneck man.

Your own soil gets wrecked.
The wrath not of a man.
Yet your resources
Spent on other more 'important' tasks at hand.

Another mother cries.
Her son now gone.
Who cares if she's American or Iraqi.
Out of her chest, her heart is torn.

Long shall it be remembered
On that very day.
Our very own martyr.
Led us astray.

In Remembrance.

Some other minor points before I go off. Just tiny little observations I made.

Saddam is gone. Yet look at how many have died just for the persecution of just one man. I concede that his aides were also persecuted, but look at the big picture. It's still a large difference. And isn't it amazing that you can find Saddam Hussein in a tiny hole yet you cannot find another wanted man in the form of Osama Bin Laden? One has to question the number of lives needed to be sacrificed before we can get to him.

Another thing. The Iraqi Occupation was initially given the code name Operation Iraqi Liberation. It was then changed to Operation Iraqi Freedom. We can plainly see the acronym for the first code name is O.I.L. Was that a coincidence or were they trying to mess with us by giving us a hint?

The main reason I do not support the Iraqi Occupation is the fact that lives of innocent people are put on the line. As opposed to the Japanese Occupation or the Nazi Invasion, this war was never a case of an aggressor trying to exert control. It is the case of a country trying to suppress a suspected (or maybe even expected) aggressor. So the innocents are not really killed or murdered. However they are seen as more of an expendable resource. So who are the exact victims? I guess that's a question that may come around to bite us hard.

1:09 AM / 20 March

2008-03-20T03:14:00.000+08:00

Well the results for the past semester are out. I seriously do not know what to say about my grades this time around. Not that my results were bad. But they weren't really that good either. So I'm not disappointed yet am I not really that excited about them. Here's the breakdown:

XML and Web Services : B
Software Engineering Practices : B
Business Communications 3 : A
Customer Relationship Management : B
Introduction to Market Research : B
International Business : Distinction
IT Innovation Project : A

First things first. How the hell did I get an A for that darned IT Innovation Project. I seriously thought that I totally screwed that one up. I mean I was bracing myself for a C or a D. But somehow I got an A. I guess my positive thinking paid off. I somehow managed to pull off a miracle.

The thing that I'm disappointed about is the number of B's that I have this time around. 4 is quite a lot considering my grades for the other semesters.

The distinction for International Business and the A for Business Communications 3 were kinda expected. Not that I'm bragging or anything. Just that those were the modules that I kinda prefer. International Business is just something I like, doing all that analysis of different economies and industries. Business Communications is pretty much very language-based.

Hmmm...I guess there is still room for improvement next semester. My GPA now is 3.552. I think that's a bit of a drop but overall it still maintained at 3.5+ around there.

Next semester is another study semester before I go for my Final Project and Attachment. Then after that I'll graduate and will be in NS to get my ass kicked. Hope I make it through in one piece.

The lead singer in this band is only 14 or 15 years old. Kick ass stuff.

Shockwave by Black Tide

I'm like a shockwave coming through your door!
I'm like a bullet at the speed of light!
I go around taking peoples lives!
While you set around saying lies.

When I'm around you will feel the pain.
And when I'm done you will be no more.
Your life is through now mine begins.
My day's of agony are now gone!

I'm shockwave and I don't need anyone!
I'll follow the way's till the day I die!
I'm a shockwave and I'll take your fucking life!!!!!
Don't mess with me I'm a shockwave ready to kill!

I am the one who feeds off your life.
I'll be right there when your ready to die!
I am a killer but there all scared.
When I rise no time is spared!

Shockwave!!

15 March / 5:15 AM

2008-03-15T06:07:00.001+08:00

Hmmm...What to say. What to say.

It's been about 2 weeks since I last blogged. Not that I've been busy. I just didn't have anything to blog about. So let's see.

So the A level results are out. From what I've seen not many people were too happy nor confident about their prospects. Well all I gotta say is just hang in there guys. It'll all be over soon.

That gets me thinking about the past few months in my life. School was tough and my life was even tougher. Sometimes I even felt like giving up. This was pretty much the toughest semester yet. Some people think life in poly is easy but that is not the case. We only have 15 weeks to crank out results for around 7 modules. That's a lot to ask for. Especially when you are getting hit by deadlines left and right. The stress to keep up is off the chart.

This was the case for the past semester. There were a lot of times I just planned on giving up hope. Especially the last day before one of my biggest project presentations to date. Then as I was getting off the bus to go home, 'The Air That I Breathe" by All That Remains started playing on my headset. And the things that I felt when I listened to that song were just indescribable. It was like something just clicked and I suddenly got this massive second wind that helped me push through the project deadline.

After a few days I kinda came together with this concept about positive thinking. And the basis of my concept is that what drives our desire to perform and our abilities is doubt. Even the slightest presence of doubt will adversely affect our drive and our abilities. I place more emphasis on drive because that is where I believe doubt has the most effect on.

This is basically the basis of my concept. "Live Life Fierce"

I say fierce because that is what I seem to feel when I get all the doubt and negativity out of my thinking. Everytime I listen to "The Air That I Breathe" and I remind myself about the meaning behind that song it always gets me riled up. Just thinking positive is not enough. You have to drive out every possible presence of doubt and to do that, I believe is only achieved when you really psych yourself up. Sort of your mind just going ballistic and running wild. That is what happens when you release your mind from the pangs of doubt.

But it's impossible to keep in that state of mind forever. Your brain will burn out. That's why now when I feel down and out I'll just listen to "The Air That I Breathe". But I knew that was not gonna be enough for me. So I actually wrote a little poem-like/pledge thingy quite a while back. I kinda take it more like a pledge so that I never forget about my goals and aspirations.

NOT NOW. NOT NEVER by FREAQ

I say a lot of things.
And a lot of things I am not.
But still I am true.
In my words and my actions.
What makes me who I am.
Is not what I am now.
It's who I can be.
It's in my control.
It is not in the control of others.
I am everything and nothing.
I am not immortal.
But in memories is where I shall live.
And I shall leave my mark.
On a world that is dying.
Dying at the hands of the people which it feeds.
But I will not relent.
I shall move forward.
Till my very last breath.
Be it now or the end of eternity.
I will never surrender.
NOT NOW. NOT NEVER

This is just another way to keep focused. Always remind yourself that there is always something to look forward to. And if there seems like nothing left. Always remember that family and friends are there.

So for all the A Levelers who are down and out, take some time and just think about your situation and all the possibilities available to you. And never, ever give up. If we were animals, the moment we gave up, we would all die.

The Air That I Breathe by All That Remains

I will not relent no no
Never live with defeat, never falter
It's like the air that I breathe(like the air I breathe)
I will not choke on failure
And I will not choke on failure

I am a mortal man
But I'm not falling, I'm not broken yet
I am a mortal man
But I hold tight to my beliefs now

I have suffered defeat, pain, loss
Still I push to the edge, never falter
For this cements my beliefs (this cements my beliefs)
I'll remain my own master

I will not relent no no
Never suffer defeat, never falter
For this cements my beliefs (this cements my beliefs)
I will not choke on failure

I am a mortal man
But I'm not falling I'm not broken yet
I am a mortal man
But I hold tight to my beliefs now

I am a mortal man
But I'm not falling I'm not broken yet
I am a mortal man
But I hold tight to my beliefs now

I will not relent
I will not relent, no no
I will not relent
Never suffer defeat never falter
I will not relent, no no

Never suffer
Never falter
I will not relent, no no
Never suffer
Never falter

So yeah, that's all for now. Just decided to leave it at that. Hope that which ever of my peeps who didn't do well for their A's just read the above post. Nothing is ever worth feeling disappointed for.

One more thing. Something's wrong with my tagbox. Don't know exactly what though. It's done by a local guy so I decided to show support for locals by using his tagbox. Recently there have been quite a few problems. Hope it gets back up soon.

8:13 PM / 29 February

2008-02-29T20:49:00.001+08:00

I thought I'd put up a post today since it's the 29th of February. It comes around once every 4 years so I guess why not.

This leap year thingy just got me thinking. If one ever needs to see the non-existence of perfection, all one has to do is look at the Earth's solar cycle. I mean it makes sense all the stuff that we learn in school. About the Earth's orbit and that how it doesn't exactly take 365 days to complete it. In common sense it should take 365 days. But that's nature's funny way of creating imperfections so nothing is really as it is.

Just a thought. Didn't really want to say much about it.

Hmmm. Talking about solar systems, there is this really cool sitcom I've been watching recently. I don't thin they show it in Singapore. It's called 'The Big Bang Theory'. It's the story of these two genius prodigies who one day find out that they have a new neighbour living across the hall from their apartment. It turns out to be this good-looking chick with a questionable intellect who works at The Cheesecake Factory. Inevitably, one of them becomes attracted to the girl.

That's the gist of the story. It's a very funny sitcom with great one-liners. Though there are only 8 episodes now because of the writer's strike in the US. The next episode airs on March 17. Here's a bit of a look at the show.

So go check it out. Like I said, I'm not sure if it's available in Singapore. Maybe on cable TV. If you wanna you can check it out at sidereel.com

As of right now I'm feeling really bored. And it's officially only the second day of holidays. Nothing much to do at home, on facebook or anywhere on the internet for that matter. I start work again next week. But that ain't gonna be that exciting.

However, I will be away 'til the 4th as my poly class is having a chalet at Costa Sands Pasir Ris. I hope that turns out good. But I need to make sure I don't spend too much. I have a habit of spending a lot during chalet stays. Thank God I'm working.

Alright. 'Til then, stay safe.

12:02 AM / 28 February

2008-02-28T00:53:00.001+08:00

Finally this semester is over. This was probably the most disastrous semester ever. I can't believe that I even made it through in one piece. I'm so happy I survived that I'm not even gonna care about my results. It's probably screwed anyway because of my stupid IT Innovation Project. So much for innovation. How am I supposed to think outside the box when there's a cage around it? I hope you guys understand the meaning behind that.

So yeah. Skool's out. Had my last paper today. It was rather easy. Most of the things I crammed into my head came out. The case they gave wasn't to hard either. The paper was for 'An Introduction in Market Research' by the way. My grade for this module might be pulled down because of my first test results. The day of that test I was actually just coming back from a chalet if I'm not wrong. So I pretty much did the test in a state of semi-slumber. Lol.

So I went out to town with some of the peeps from my poly class. Had a late lunch followed by a walk around town. I went to HMV for like the 10th time to see if they had brought in Protest The Hero's 'Fortress'. But it seemed that they were never going to bring it in voluntarily so I had to place an order to import it. I guess it'll be a $32 well spent. I also finally managed to get a good skate tee that I can fit into. I'm kinda getting bored of wearing black T-shirts only.

I'm getting sleepy already...

There's this band that I think really needs attention. They are called Black Tide and the blow my freaking brains out. They are relatively new and have yet to release their debut full-length album. The crazy thing is their age. I was always amazed at how young Matt Heafy from Trivium was when the band hit big time. But man, Black Tide beats that and Trivium. The lead singer is only 15 years old. Godammit. He's 15 and he's already performed on the Ozzfest main stage, opening for Ozzy himself. I'm like oh my god. This kid is great. It also kinda knocks my self-esteem down a bit cuz he is so young and has accomplished so much. The other members in the band are around 19 years of age by the way. So yeah. Have a listen and enjoy.

Shockwave by Black Tide

1:17PM / 21 February

2008-02-21T15:27:00.001+08:00

Oh man. Not feeling too well these past few days. Darn sinuses. And I've been quite busy too. I've been helping my dad clear out the house so that we can get it valued by the HDB. I realize that my family has a lot of unwanted/old stuff. I mean really old to the point that I do not remember it being there. So my house right now is pretty much cluttered up. My dad moved me into my brother's old room while he tries and convert my room into a study. And all of this is happening while I am having my exams. Just great.

I've been listening to a lot of New Found Glory these days. I just can't seem to get enough of them. I just don't know why. I listened to them a long time ago in primary school when I was really into the pop punk scene. Bands like Blink-182, Green Day and NOFX. Not really old skool punk but just great energetic music. They are not only a great band to listen to but also to watch. Here's a couple of my recent favourites. Simple songs that are easy on the ear and great meaning behind them both musically and visually.

It's Not Your Fault.

I Don't Wanna Know

Woah. That sure took a lot of time. I started at 1:17 and ended this post at 3:27.

4:30 AM / 16 February

2008-02-16T05:21:00.001+08:00

Finally I can put in another update.

This week was a cool week. Managed to work a bit. Working is fun. Especially with all the crazy people at my outlet. No 2 days are the same. And at the same time, I get to meet great people. Especially foreigners. Not that I'm biased or anything but I find that the foreigners tend to be more appreciative and acknowledging. Singaporeans show the same attitudes too but not all of them. Some of them don't appreciate the things we do so that their experience is more pleasant. So at times I kinda just try to get rid of them as quick as possible (i.e. serve their drink or whatever ASAP).

See what this shows. And they expect everyone to give good service. Don't they know that service works the same way as respect? It's a 2 way street. I'll give you good service, but you're gonna have to show me the need to actually provide that service. Just like respect it has to be mutual. What's the point of me respecting you if you do not respect me. So yeah. Just my 2 pence on that topic.

I had great Valentine's Day too. Not that I had a date or anything like that. It was something even better. I got to hang out with close friends! Fadhil, Nadhirah, Aqilah, Lisda and me all went out to celebrate Aqilah's and Fadhil's birthdays, albeit a little late. But still it was fun. We went to this Thai restaurant place thingy in Bugis near Masjid Sultan. The food there was cheap and great but dammit they need to put to stop using Thai words in the menu. Half of the time I didn't know what the hell we were ordering. All I knew was that 'phad' meant fried. Or at least that is what I think it means. Oh yeah, but some of the food was quite pedas. But I could tahan long enough for my chrysanthemum tea to arrive.

Oh and there was cake!

It was supposed to be Tiramisu but it seemed more like a cheesecake.

Then just as Aqilah and Fadhil thought that we were going home, we sprang a surprise on them by getting them gifts! We got Aqilah a book and Fadhil a new bag to replace the beaten one he has. The book me and Nadh got it about a week before that day and Fadhil's bag was pretty much impromptu as we needed to make sure that the bag suited him. All in all it was a hell of a Valentine's Day.

Lovey Dovey couples eat your hearts out. This is the beef I have with V day. It's just one freaking day. The greatest of loves do not need a day to define its presence or existence. If you think that having a date or getting married on Valentine's day is more 'special' or more 'meaningful' then all I can say is good luck to you. You see, there are 365 days in a year and approximately 25 550 to 28 800 days in a person's lifetime. Let's just say the luckiest of couples are together for 20 000 days. That's a lot of days. If you can't make every single one of those days special then there is no point really being in love. If you need a day like Valentine's Day to make your love special then you most probably will have to rethink your relationship a little bit.

So yeah, that's another piece of my mind for those of you that pass through here.

So there has been another school shooting in the USA. Goddamn motherfuckers. I don't blame the kid that fired shots in that lecture hall in the University of Illinois. I really don't. I blame the fucking capitalists of the USA. What did they think guns were made for??? To help us shoot rose petals out of our ass holes???

Godammit man. Really. You didn't see this coming. Wasn't Columbine enough of a warning in the first place??? Or even the VTech incident??? If the bloody 2-bit government there can't put controls on the gun laws in the USA then they might as well legalize drugs such as marijuana or crack cocaine. They say that background checks are done and all that, but who the heck knows what is going on in the next redneck that goes in to the firearm store and gets himself a rifle? You think that all he's gonna do is shoot some birds? If it's not him going crazy with the gun it could be anybody in his family who stumbles upon the gun. Then who suffers? Other innocent people.

This is the problem with the US as a whole. Other people are dying for their ideals. Innocent people have died in an unnecessary war. Brave men's soul now sent to heaven 'cause their government asks them to fight for their country. And the dumb rednecks with a 2-bit education just supports it 'cause their redneck president says so. Really, nothing in that war makes any freaking sense. They attack Iraq 'cause they suspect that there are WMDs. But not freaking North Korea. They know that N. Korea has WMDs but what do they do? They negotiate. Dammit man. But what am I to say. Like I have said before. War is a product of peace. Peace never comes from war. It supposedly is the reason why most countries go to war and that's what pisses me off.

But what am I to do. I'll most probably be another puppet in the great stage show that is Singapore. So while all that happens guess what I'm gonna do? Kick some ass. And have fun with friends and family while doing it.

Peace.

Oh yeah, how could I leave without a video. This is for all the Valentine's Day shit.

My Friends Over You by New Found Glory

Quote of the moment: "To achieve you have to believe" - Jeffrey Nero Hardy aka Jeff Hardy

1:53 AM / 14 January

2008-01-14T02:28:00.000+08:00

I thought I'd give everyone a quick update on my current situation so here goes...

Everyone better pray for me. School is hitting me and it's hitting hard. A lot of presentations to prepare for. Need to get my web service up and running for my deadline. Argh! And after that I still have things to worry about. Godammit.

I just came back from work. I gotta say, working at CBTL is fun. Get to meet a lot of nice people. Especially the foreigners. Though with my pekak ears it's kinda hard to hear some of them through their thick accents.

I actually have quite a few things in store for this blog. Once I have the time, I'm gonna start putting up stuff that is more from me and not just videos from YouTube. Stuff like poetry, philosophies that I have come up with, my thoughts on current affairs and all the likes. The music part will still be here. I can't live without music so it would be just dumb to leave that out. Oh yeah, I also have this story that I have been writing in my head. It's in bits and pieces now but I really want to get started on writing it. Just to fill up my time. And maybe some pics here and there. The camera on my phone is quite good so I'll try not to waste that.

So yeah. That's it. No video today. I dunno what video to put up so I just decided against it. Maybe on my next post after my exams are done.

Peace.

10:42 PM / 31 December

2007-12-31T23:07:00.000+08:00

I guess it's time that I give a more proper post after posting nothing but MVs for the past couple of months or so. Now more so that it's New Year's Eve. So here goes.

This year has been okay overall. There were times where times seemed kinda bleak. Almost went ballistic a couple of times. But there were the high points. Watching 2 grand weddings sure helped. Oh yeah, and I managed to get a job. Yay.

This year I realized that your lifestyle and musical choices don't have to be separate. That's what I got from Straight Edge Hardcore. Straight Edge is a lifestyle free of addictions. No drugs, no alcohol and no smoking. My life, my rules. But most importantly, it's the music that makes up for all the lack of addictions which makes sXe so great.

Music...Hmmm...So much to say about music. 2 bands in particular. Protest the Hero and Machine Head. 2 distinctly different bands but great in their own way. PTH are pretty much one of a few bands that possess great musicality and great songwriting. The meaning within their songs are totally amazing. There is so much to comprehend just from the lyrics alone. Multiple meanings and hidden metaphors. It would make for great literature. And if that wasn't good enough, they are also a very technical band. With riffs that can pretty much blow any simple guitar solo out of the water and great harmony between all the guitars plus superior drumming, it all makes for one hell of a sound. And what makes it even better is the groups originality. They don't care about mass commercialisation. What they care about is their music and how good it is to them.

Machine Head on the other hand. Well what can I say. Metal album of the decade. It's pretty much the new Master of Puppets in my opinion. Great riffing and intertwining guitarwork. Killer beats and a monstrous growl. That's pretty much the reason why I bought the goddamn album. It's just awe-inspiring. Nothing more to it.

So for 2008, let's see. All I want is a roof over my head and food on the table to eat. That's all. And maybe something extra but that's for me to try and accomplish myself.

Before I go, I just have to post a music video. This is a great band and they deserve to be highlighted. And this song actually has some good meaning in it for me.

Higinia by blessthefall

If you could stay here for just
a little bit, a little while, a little bit with me
you're what makes me,
and if god could keep you with me
I'd trade just about anything

You're what makes me want to change things
I would die just to live and yet we all live to die
You're what makes me want to change,
you will not die
you will not die
you will not die
you will not die

If you could stay here for just
a little bit, a little while, a little bit with me
you're what makes me,
and if god could keep you with me
I'd trade just about anything

I'd trade anything...

Take a step further back to where you belong
Take a look at your life what have you become

I never had the chance to explain myself
I never had the chance to apologize
I never had the chance to explain myself
I never had...

You will not die
You will not die
You will not die
You will not...

3:04 AM / 26 December

2007-12-26T03:09:00.000+08:00

Holy hell. I usually don't do more than 1 post in a day. But I was surfing around Protest The Hero's MySpace and I realized that their new music video for their new single 'Bloodmeat' was already out. I watched it on Much Music's website and I almost pissed my pants. It is fuckin amazing. I truly hail PTH as musical geniuses. I can't wait for their new album 'Fortress' to come out on the 29th of January. I hope Singapore brings it in.

I couldn't find a good version of the music video on youtube but I did find a great live version of it. So here goes.

Bloodmeat (Live) by Protest The Hero

2:17 AM / 26 December

2007-12-26T02:19:00.000+08:00

Another Hero Lost by Shadows Fall

I'll never leave you
But fate has come to silence me
Darkness is all that I see
I cannot reach you
And soon the earth will cover me
It's become so hard to breathe

Forever is waiting
The final steps you're taking
Will soon be buried in the sand

All of the battles
They say we won
They leave another thousand lives undone
Another thousand lives [undone]

Forever is waiting
The final steps you're taking
Will soon be buried in the sand

You're gone but not forgot
Another hero lost
The sorrow builds with every passing
All the lessons that you taught
And all the light you brought
Lives on in the eyes of your son

[No words]

Forever is waiting
The final steps you're taking
Will soon be buried in the sand

You're gone but not forgot
Another hero lost
The sorrow builds with every passing
All the lessons that you taught
And all the light you brought
Lives on in the eyes of your son

2:44 PM / 14 December

2007-12-14T14:48:00.000+08:00

Fuckin' crazy band

In The Belly Of A Shark by Gallows

So here I lie
In the belly of a shark
So fucking cold and so fucking dark
So here I lie
In the belly of a shark
And how the fuck did I get this far?
Cut yourself first
They can smell your blood
From forty miles away
There'll be here in no time
I'm gonna show you
Exactly what you mean to me
I'm gonna eat every man that you see

11:37 PM / 7 December

2007-12-07T23:40:00.000+08:00

Serj Tankian should be elected to the US Presidency. Haha. This is from his first solo album. This guy is really a genius.

Empty Walls by Serj Tankian

Your empty walls...
Your empty walls...
Pretentious attention
Dismissive aprehension
Don't waste your time, on coffins today
When we decline, from the confines of our mind
Don't waste your time, on coffins today

Don't you see their bodies burning?
Desolate and full of yearning
Dying of anticipation
Choking from intoxication

Don't you see their bodies burning?
Desolate and full of yearning
Dying of anticipation
Choking from intoxication

I want you
To be
Left behind those empty walls
Don't
You see
From behind those empty walls

Those empty walls
When we decline, from the confines of our mind
Don't waste your time, on coffins today

Don't you see their bodies burning?
Desolate and full of yearning
Dying of anticipation
Choking from intoxication

Don't you see their bodies burning?
Desolate and full of yearning
Dying of anticipation
Choking from intoxication

I want you
To be
Left behind those empty walls
Don't
You see
From behind those empty walls
Want you to be
Left behind those empty walls
Don't
You see
From behind those empty walls

From behind those empty walls
From behind those empty walls
The walls
From behind those empty walls

I loved you, yes
Though they be
For you killed my family

Don't you see their bodies burning?
Desolate and full of yearning
Dying of anticipation
Choking from intoxication

Don't you see their bodies burning?
Desolate and full of yearning
Dying of anticipation
Choking from intoxication

I want you
To be
Left behind those empty walls
Told you
To see
From behind those empty walls
Want you to be, left behind those empty walls
Told you
To see
From behind those empty walls
From behind those empty walls
From behind those fucked up walls
From behind those God damn walls
Those walls...
Those walls...

11:18 AM / 2 December

2007-12-02T11:23:00.000+08:00

Man..It's already December? Godammit. This is why new year resolutions never get done. 365 days is too little. We need more days dammit. Oh well...

Here's a great straightedge band. For those of you who don't know what straight edge is just drop me a message and I'll tell you about it. I'm too lazy to write about it here.

Forever by Throwdown

I know a thing or two about you,
Youre bullshit attitude.
Youre fucking weak and lemme tell you it shows right through.
You dont know shit about me or my friends,
What they are what i am.
So cut the shit and try not to pretend.
Youre scared of who and what we are and so you question yourself,
But your pride wont let you show your fear to anyone else.
You dont know me,
So dont judge me.
You dont know you,
Your too scared to.
You think you know,
Why im here after all these years.
You wanna know?
Well ill tell you fucking why, GO.

For myself.
For my friends.
For my family.
FOREVER
Ill take this to the bitter end

For myself.
For my friends.
For my family.
FOREVER
Ill take this to the bitter end

You dont know a single thing about me,
Just what my enemies say.
Well, fuck them and fuck you,
That shit wont cut it today.
Be a fucking man and stand up to find the truth in yourself,
For yourself,
By yourself and not from anyone else.
You think you know,
Why im here after all these years.
You wanna know?
Well ill tell you fucking why, GO!

For myself.
For my friends.
For my family.
FOREVER
I'll take this to the bitter end.

For myself
For my friends
For my family.
FOREVER
I'll take this to the bitter end.

(Where the fuck are you?)
I'm still here and still proud
and I still know what it takes to be true.

Yeah, to be true.

For myself
For my friends
For my family.

STRAIGHT FUCKING EDGE.

12:57 AM / 28 November

2007-11-28T01:01:00.000+08:00

This is from Scary Kids Scaring Kids' previous album but I just had to post it. It's a fun song to listen to so I thought I would just share it with whoever passes by here. I put up a live version of it too.

My Darkest Hour by Scary Kids Scaring Kids

Let me up
Let me out
I am suffocating
I can't live without
This all behind me
Is this almost over now?

the longest night my darkest hour
Where you will find me
Pale, lost, and dying
From the truth

You left me at the altar
My heart in my hand
I am tired and broken
Haunted by memories of
The life you've stolen
I am tired and broken

You left me at the altar
My heart in my hand
(YOU LEFT ME!)
In my hand...
(YOU LEFT ME!)
(AND I WON'T FORGET!)

Let me out, let me out
Lips are trembling as i cannot make a sound
my love betrays me
Is this almost over now
the walls caved in, the roof fell down
And I am finally
Tired of the lying
And the cloud that follows you...

You left me at the altar
My heart in my hand
I am tired and broken
Haunted by memories of
The life you've stolen

I am tired and broken
You left me at the altar
My heart in my hand
(YOU LEFT ME!)
(AND I WON'T FORGET!)
In my hand...
(YOU LEFT ME WITH MY HEART.. IN.. MY.. HAND!)
(I WON'T FORGET!)

You left me breathless
You left me scared
But your arms have never kept me warm
WHEN YOU WERE HERE!

And now my only hope is to take back what you've stolen
My life will go on without you...
And now my only hope is to take back what you've stolen
MY LIFE WILL GO ON WITHOUT YOU!

You left me at the altar
My heart in my hand
I am tired and broken
Haunted by memories of
The life you've stolen
You've stolen...
You've stolen...
(You left me in the end)
You've stolen...
(I WILL NOT FORGET!)

Live Version

2:15 AM / 17 November

2007-11-17T02:18:00.000+08:00

The Running Free by Coheed and Cambria

All non-believers stand aside and fear
A new day's marching through the door
How could you ever think you'd make it here?
Did it bleed? Was it sore?
Through the struggles you've endured

You've come so far from innocence
Provided all the consequence
Only what does it matter now?

Cause you're going home
You're running free
As only you would be if you never owed them anything
And now you've found your way out
In the trust you've seen your path on home

Spend your time well before you go
Here in hell

Your living ends before the engineer
What was your motive in this fight?
(did they play you for the weaker of them?)
How could you ever think you'd make it here?
Was it greed that pushed your heart through the struggles you've endured?

You've come so far from innocence
Provided all the consequence
Only what does it matter now?

Cause you're going home
You're running free
As only you would be if you never owed them anything
And now you've found your way out
In the trust you've seen your path on home

Spend your time well before you go
Here in hell

(There's a hell in all of us)
Spend your time well before you go...
(There's a hell in all of...)
In a law that's all your own
(There's a hell in all of us)
There are no secrets you can hide
(There's a hell in all of...)
From yourself, in your mind, leave the worst of all behind

Cause you're going home
You're running free
As only you would be if you never owed them anything
And now you've found your way out
In the trust you've seen your path on home

Cause you're going home
You're running free
As only you would be if you never owed them anything
And now you've found your way out
In the trust you've seen your path on home

Spend your time well before you go
Here in hell